A Quiet Bubble Floating On The Sea Of Noise...

MOVED

2010-04-30T13:12:00.000+08:00

I have moved to www.nabilahbagarib.blogspot.com

Thank you!

Its all good...

2007-11-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

Baby, it's all good! - A modern hijab poem

Author unknown

What do you see when you look at me
Do you see someone limited, or someone free
All some people can do is just look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair
Others think I am controlled and uneducated
They think that I am limited and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Because they would like to remain 'free'

Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused
They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn't my choice
They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged
All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear

Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the One up above
On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules
Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty
See I have declined from being a guy's toy
Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy

Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren't busy looking at my behind
Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause
I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight
The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were me

We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt
So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated
We are the ones that are free and pure
We're free of STD's that have no cure

So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying, 'Baby its all good'

Have you ever?

2007-07-04T23:16:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt so lonely, so alone?
Feeling like you don't belong,
Every turn you make,
Every word you say,
Just don't seem to fit in anywhere…

Have you ever looked at the faces you know?
And it feels like they're not who you think they are anymore,
They suddenly speak a different language,
A language so different yet understandable,
A topic so clear yet unfamiliar…

They act like they know you,
Yet oblivious to the change in you,
That you're not the same anymore,
Not the same person they use to know,
Not the one who cares about superficiality,
Rather more to the issues of maturity…

Have you ever cried in fear and in pain?
That they just can't seem to understand,
You put up a mask like you always do,
Pretending to go along as they laugh it through…

Once or twice it seemed like they understand,
But only to mock you once again,
They act all superior putting you down,
Thinking that we are the ones whose is always wrong…

Have you ever felt like they indeed let you speak your mind?
Making you feel like you might be someone,
They hear the words said quite clearly,
But to listen is what they fail miserably…

Have you ever want to tell them that you’ve changed?
Or should you continue to pretend an act as they instruct?
Have you ever felt trapped, alone and going almost insane,
Emotions so extreme only at opposite ends...

Life is indeed the survival of the fittest,
But life is greater than any man alive,
A two-edged sword in which every one loses…

Professional Hypocrites...

2007-06-25T14:14:00.000+08:00

I bet some of you might flinch when i say that ALL of us are hypocrites one way or another... Something simple like claiming that ur not racist but somehow u have streotypes about a particular gender or race... Or claiming that ur a "friendly" person but u select who becomes ur friend... and the list goes on.. Im not going to ramble about little petty things but something bigger that i have been pondering about for quite a while.. Its about profession and the aims of that particular profession...

Let me start with my own, what i aim to be.. One of my aims is to be a counsellor, and the aim of a counsellor is to solve people's problems or resolve the conflicts that they are surrounded with, give a helping hand.. but see this is where the hypocritical lies.. This is a profession, thus we are making profit or a living out of people's problems and conflicts.. We need those problems and conflicts to be there so that we can survive, be known, be recognised.. But yet our initial aim is to resolve or solve those problems and conflicts that anyone is facing...

So counsellor not only study for years and masters how to handle and solve people's problems and conflict BUT at the same time they NEED those problems to be there and at the same time make a living out of it...

Let me give u another example, the Police.. Their aim is to crack down on crimes, day and night.. From petty theft to drug dealers, to pirated VCD's to corruption to murders to everything else.. But think of it they too are making a living out of these crimes made.. They NEED these crimes to exist so that thay have a job a profession.. Imagine if there are no more crimes then they wont have a job no more.. therefore they cant make a living no more...

Another example.. Doctors or researchers... They strive to help those who are injured or suffering from a disease.. And we all do know (well other than Bruneians that is) that medication costs ALOT, can create holes on the wallet because its daym expensive (again not inclusive for bloody Bruneians, no offence)... But imagine if there are no more diseases in the world and everyone lives healthy and dies of natural death... then where would these so called refined doctors and researchers be? How would they make a living??

See all these problems, conflicts, diseases, crimes are the main principle of each of these profession and they aim to resolve or cure or eliminate all these... But without all these fiascos in the world there wont be any profession for them, they wont be able to make a living for....

Basically the things that they want to scrape or abolish or cure or even solve are the things that they need to live and make money from.. Other people's problems, all the crimes, all the diseases and injuries is where their next pay check is coming from and without all this there would be no bling bling.. but yet solving, eliminating, curing are the main principle and aims of this profession or occupation... Ironically hypocritical isnt it?

I dont know how many of u will see this, i might be alone in this kind of thoughts... but hey a thought is still a thought right?

Never ending turn...

2007-02-17T16:01:00.000+08:00

Its been ages.. Once again since i wrote... Not that there were not many isgnificant events in my life that happened but too much is happening that i dont have time to write... hehe..

Backtracking from my previous post.. "where did that turn come from"... I will gladly announce to who ever reads my blog that Miss Heartless Stay Away From Me Ice Queen has finally melted and found her "Beast" and is very much in love (*gasp* did she say she's in LOVE???).... Yes! Miss Heartless is no longer single (yeah after i dont know 3 years), is now leading the un-single life and is very much in love...

Wait before i go on... No its not the im in love with some celebrity that dznt know i exist... No its not with a female... and No im not living in a fantasy.. Its happening right before my eyes and very much real... How does it feel you ask? Im discovering new length and heights to what it means being in love.. I met the prefect man for me... A man that showers me with so much love, love which is unconditional, honest, sincere and true.. Showers me with so much respect, so much care.. A man who is matured and can guide me in life.. Gosh i can go on writing about this man im so in love with... But basically he managed to turn this cold brutal heart of mine into something of worth and feeling loved and being able to love another like never before...

I am currently suffering from the insanely in love disease so please bear with me... His name is Fareez by the way... An indian mixed malaysian... Rather handsome... Very charming... Smart as well i may say... Yes a debator too... and a future lawyer... See the tricks God is playing with me... He's a combination of the worst kind i ever expected to be with but heck when the cupid arrow struck you, and it struck you pretty bad.. you fall too deep and u just keep on falling and falling and falling...

So basically... I have ended my singlehood and actually enjoying the feeling... I learn valuable lessons everyday... I become a better person as time goes by... And i find myself loving this man more and more each day.... Pray for us yeah....

Before i drive all of you insane with all this mushy stuff thats even freaking myself out right now.. I'l stop here....

*smiles*

Where did that turn come from?

2006-11-07T18:14:00.000+08:00

Its been one heck of a time but heck its not like im gone... i was temporarily away.... Yesterday was one of the turning points of my life... one heck of a turning point that i cant say i did not expect but i didnt expect it this soon... it happened... i was caught with the truth.. i couldnt escape it.. i couldnt deny it any longer... somethimes things happens when you probably least expect them and they just slam into your face.. Maybe thats the miracles of God with his own little sense of humour.... I can imaging Him saying "Ha ha you cant run or hide any longer"...

I realized that we cant always run even when we run, there will be a particular someone that in between the time that you catch a breath, there will be someome patiently waiting for you at the "pit stop" and give you water without expecting anything in return... and when we continue running there will be that particular person who will be at the point where and when you eventually stop running, will be there waiting patiently for you... making sure that you are okay and not out of breath pt has no injury without asking for anything in return.... Sometimes they even make us turn into a junction into a whole new journey when we think its time to stop...

Im grinning.... im smiling... im happy... im in.........

what the heck am i talking about? All i can say for now is that "where did that turn come from?? what heppened to everyone else coz i can ony see you........

Self...

2006-09-11T16:52:00.000+08:00

After a while of silence i will be addressing the issue of my current state of mind.. It seems to me that more often than not i tend to get confused be confused.. The more i know i about something, the more i realize how much i dont know.. and sometimes the things that i thought i knew, i end up not knowing.... I tend to analyze the people around me every moment but i somehow take a moment longer to take a while to analyze myself...

Its funny that at times i seem to be full of confidence but at times i found myself to be with none... I understand the fact that nothing is perfect and sometimes things do go wrong... These multiple masks that we use for our face seems to confuse me even more... Confuse me about myself and about other people too...

I mean are the things they tell me as sincere and honest like i thought it is? Are the things they tell me something real about me or issit because of one of the masks i put on? In a journey of self realization and evaluation we all are but.... why is it so hard for us to define who we are? I mean i can be giving one of my brightest smile just to hide the fact that im crying inside... I can still carry on a conversation with someone with a pleasant tone but infact its all just to hide the fact that im actually irritated with his/her behavior... In my Psychology of Interpersonal Relations, i realize that there are many things that we do consciously and unconsciously in our everyday daily interaction.... we also talked about the "masks" we put on... So i started to wander, with the many masks that are at times essential for our life and interaction with others how do we know that the behavior we portray are actually reflecting our sincere attitude? When is the time that we know that we are not wearing the mask?

Because i believe in one way or another the masks we put on defines who we are in the end... For example, imagine myself confessing that im actually a shy person who is pretty much in reality an anti-social, one that does not like to smile at all when most of you know me as a "friendly, talkative or possibly a socialite"... wouldnt that mean that i have been "lying" for so long to myself and the people around me that somehow the thought of me being someone anti-social seems very odd....

That is why i think with the confusion i have for myself, no wander its hard for people to understand me.. and because of that, i think thats why i have been leading the single life for such a long long time (believe me its a loooong time indeed).... I think other than the fact that i have many qualities in my "list" that is usually unfulfilled by the guys that comes my way i think it would be unfair for me to be involved in a relationship and it would do My Man injustice when i myself is still engulfed in my own confusion.. Then, he will be in love with someone thats just not who i am...

Me saying this might make one wonder if my actions towards him or her has been sincere all these while or its just fake? I clarify here that most of the time my actions and words i believe is true and honest... but i cant help it if i just had to cover up and lie... i guess thats why most of us are skeptic about things in life.. because we know sometimes we lie to people and we know we are being lied to most of the time...

I believe im not the only one with these thoughts... but thats life i suppose.. that is what makes life interesting and we have a will to live for the next day... because there is just so much that we dont know... so much that we are yet to discover... and this excites us more than we often realize.. whats life is everything is known right? *honest smile*

Red and White tribute

2006-08-16T16:48:00.000+08:00

About a week ago, 9th August 2006, it was Singapore's 41st National Day... And according to my passport (nationality) and the place of birth.. I shall be allowed to claim that 9th of August was MY country's national day (Note: Any disagreement on this statement of mine shall be attended to)...

So i shall make a small "tribute" to the country call Singapore by writing a little bit about what i actually like in Singapore... Basically, after much thought.. other than the that fact Singapore is clean and that most of my extended family lives in Singapore and that gives me a reason to go to Singapore every now and then... I found out a few things that i actually like about Singapore.. It is namely, the FOOD over there... From where you may ask? The best-est place is none other than my 2 beloved gradma's house... and other than that, practially almost everywhere (if you know where to find it) the food is good... From the typical Malay food, to the Indian Food, to the Arab food, to the Chinese food, even to the fast food restaurants... all are actually on the average edible and some to an extent that it can be said as good delicious food... although these places cant beat my mother's or two granny's cooking... its relatively good... Maybe some of you cant actually relate to this because you might think that "hey in Singapore its hard to find halal food" --> WRONG! <-- Its relatively easy to find halal food in Singapore... Just go to Geylang, Bedok, Arab street, Little India and more other places.. You will and can find good edible halal food...

Other than that, the other thing i like about Singapore, based on my own experience, is their Taxi service... Believe it or not, after being in Taxis in Malaysia, Singaproe Taxi is wayyyyyyyy better.. NO offence but seriously... Taxi Service in Singapoer, not only that you will NEVER be cheated like these no-god taxi drivers in Malaysia you will also not encounter rude taxi drivers... Rude here ranges to making remarks when you are being cautious as to wether the driver did switch on the meter (coz naturally theres alot of cheating cases) to the "boleh tak saya ambik adik saya pastu baru hantar awak sebab kita nak balik rumah -translation- can i pick up my little sibling first then i send you off because we are going home after that"... I mean IF you wanna pick up your sis/bro and go back home why on earth did u take a passenger? Basically, in comparison between Malaysia Taxi Service/Driver with Singapore's Taxi Service/Driver.. I can conclude that Singapore is better.... I cant compare with Brunei's Taxi Service coz i never been in one, in Brunei Taxi are most probably only used by tourist.... So there goes my little tribute to Singapore.. My country... yes i am a disgrace to my "own" country because those listed are the only things that i like about singapore.. but heyy first i havent lived in Singapore to discover the nice things they have over there and second, i should not criticize my "own" country on its national day... that can be done on a later time... hehe..

Other facts about Singapore

* Yes chewing gum is banned in Singapore

* Yes its a "fine" country.. Like IIUM anything wrong done, you will be fined

* Our National Anthem is in Bahasa Melayu a.k.a Malay
MAJULAH SINGAPURA

Mari kita rakyat Singapura
Sama-sama menuju bahagia
Cita-cita kita yang mulia
Berjaya Singapura
Marilah kita bersatu
Dengan semangat yang baru
Semua kita berseru
Majulah Singapura
Majulah Singapura

*Along side that, we have a pledge that is in English which i only learn by heart this national day (hehe)

OUR PLEDGE

We, the citizens of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society
based on justice and equality
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and
progress for our nation.

For more information about Singapore, DONT ask me... ur bette off going to Google and type "Singapore".. hehe

Grrrr....

2006-08-04T09:13:00.000+08:00

It has come to my attention, becoming more apparent that this world not only lack peace and stability but most of all UNDERSTANDING... On a minor scope, we as individuals, wether we realize it or not, lack the blessing of understanding.. We just simpy dont understand.. More often than not, when we see something different than what we are accustomed to, we immediately start criticizing, thinking or saying "what the hell is s/he thinking?" "what on earth is s/he doing?"... but why cant we pause for a moment and try to question in a more positive manner and try to understand rather than condemning that other person?

Well true that some of the things people do or think are down right outrageous, like wearing huge ass shades in campus in the library or think that bombing little kids and old ladies are fun and sticking a cigarette bud on a 8 mth year old baby while stealing his mother's purse is necessary (or maybe just plain fun)... Those are madness that as sane people, we do not understand... BUT there are things that we can atleast try to understand before we make any judgements.. Simple things in life, like culture... Many of my foreign friends often laugh at the way the malay culture or the typical mind set of the malays... and some malays that i know do the same thing to them as well... For example, something simple like eating durian.. the foreigners make disgusting looking faces.. and the locals make shocked looking faces when they see big fluffy hijab on the heads of these people... Why? Simple, both sides just dont understand...

Even on this little scale we dont understand each other... its only natural to think that the world is like that as well.. and that we have seen... its not enough that non-muslims are killing muslims like mad, even among the muslims themselves they are biting each others head off... the time where we need support and understanding most, more differences are hilighted, more conflicting points are found.. WHAT HAPPNED TO UNITY??? Wasnt Islam suppose to be the unifying point?? Cant we just put aside or differences and focus on the fact that we are muslims, we believe in the same book, The Holy Quran, and help each other out? If only, we understood.... If only, we have respect... If only it was easier done than said....

It saddens the heart that innocent people are killed evey single day... muslims are no longer united.. and to add to the wound, some individual's marriage preparations is made front page time and time again just because she's famous INSTEAD of the more important things that is going on in the world... Madness...

My growing discontent and frustrations over the fact that theres too much madness and insanity going in the world and im sitting here in the presence of d pc and the internet infront of me, in the university where im gonna get my Psychology degree (insya allah) and i still have the nerve to whining about the things going on in my life.. which if compared to other things going on, is like a grain of sugar among the tons of salt.. Shit.. thats madness over there... HUman being are indeedn selfish being...

The yesterdays of today...

2006-07-27T16:20:00.000+08:00

I can still recall how it used to be
The dream of us being forever be
The joy and laughter shared
The pain and the tears shed

It was deep, it was burning
It was insane, it was mad
You made me feel again
Like I once almost nearly had

But this was different
It was powerful, it was burning
Creating the warmth of love all over
Feeling happiness and madness of living

You became a part of me
I became a part of you
You completed me
As I completed you

As deep as it was
Fate had decided for us
Separated million miles away separated by land and sea
Apart we were forded to be

Now no more warmth felt
Shivers and tears around
We cried till tears are no more of worth
Acceptance is all we are bound

Seems like we burn a little bit too much
That we dug the hole a little too deep
For forced separation was the hardest thing
That my soul just bleed, bleed and bleed

It seems that yesterday was the day it started
Tomorrow was how is ended
For today was the beginning of the end
My love, will I ever see you again?

" I am a dreamer but when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me,Remember us and all we used to beI've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.I've watched you sleeping for a while.I'd be the father of your child.I'd spend a lifetime with you.I know your fears and you know mine.We've had our doubts but now we're fine,And I love you, I swear that's true.I cannot live without you.Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.You have been the one.You have been the one for me. "
- Goodbye My Lover By James Blunt

And after a while without posting anything.. of all the things... i feel poetic... emo to say the least.. The things running around in campus being all buzy can do to you... *sigh*

Home Away...

2006-07-09T01:54:00.000+08:00

In a few more hours i will once again be leaving the solitude of home to the foreign land called Malaysia to complete my journey in getting a Degree.. Being home i have come to realize that how many things i have missed... how things have changed... There arent some things that i thought were still the same is not there anymore... Im not refering to the major things going on but the little details of the big picture...

Being away, you dont exactly know what goes on unless its a major thing that your family members msgs or call u to tell u.. Like them selling the Toyota Vios they initially bought for me when i got my driving lisence and buying another car because im not there to use it anyway.. Those are major things they inform me about.. but the little little things, the less or even insignificant ones are things you will only realize when you come back... For instance, one time when i wanted to make some drinks for my parents i didnt know where my maid put the syrup.. Its not in the cabines where it was before... Before it was in one of the cabinet in the kitchen but now its put in the fridge... And also, we no longer go to the tailor that we use to go to make our clothes but now we have another tailor coming to the house instead.. So a change of tailors... Another instance, the minor changes in the routine of my family... The time my sister goes to class coz now she has Tahfiz Al-Quraan in the morning and normal classes in the afternoon when it use to be normal classes in the morning and tahfiz in the afternoon.... and how my parents play the badminton in the courtyard everyday after they come back from working...

It saddens me how i dont know all these things untill i came back... Im not blaming them for not telling me coz its insignificant to begin with... and i cant blame myself either for not knowing because im not at home to begin with...

But although with these little changes, some things (to my comfort) still remain the same... I still know (automatically) where the towels are kept... where the mugs are kept... what time the newspaper gets delivered to the house... where my brother hides his porn collection .. KIDDING!! hehe.. but yeah it gives me comfort that although i am away from home for quite a period of time there are still things that i can go automatically, like a reflex action when im told to do or get something....

This i guess is another part of life... I guess there will always be changes because life aint stationary but the essential things will probably remain the same... Things which you are accustomed to would probably stay the same... only very minute details will be slightly different...

One more hot shower in the morning before i leave... Then im back to the cold freezing no head showers in the morning... One more night in the dolphin decorated solitude of my private room... Then im back to the four people cubicle not-so-private room... *sigh*

On the other hand... Quoting my friend.. "Malaysia needs the lil devil princess back to spice things up! COME BACK!" .... Guess i'l have to come back after all (like i have a choice anyway) for the dake of Malaysia (hehe) and those ppl who misses me... Hehe..

A change...

2006-07-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

I have been with the previous layout for a while already... *thinks* Say about a year plus if im not mistaken.. So i decided to have a change in the layout... Its quite similar.. Still has the colour black concept.. No much of a drastic change i must say...

But hey i cant help it if i love the colour black colour can i? So yeah...

I dunno how long this layout will last.. I might even change it to the old one.. but hey.. a change should be welcome once in a while ryte?!

What do u think of it?

Almost over...

2006-07-06T14:11:00.000+08:00

So... After the smashing defeat of Germany to Italy and the brilliant defeat of Portugal to France... An unexpected twist of the finals of the World Cup now are in the hands of either France or Italy... There is not definate answer because both teams are good... but the question here is which team is better? My vote goes to France.... The players are superb and my Henry is by far one of the most brilliant, talented and superb player.... My brother (in the picture) is a BIG fan of France since forever... So being the boy he is, he went to buy the jersey just yesterday before the semi final match (the price tag still on when i took d picture)... I like the world cup... For once me and my brother agreed on the same thing... Supporting FRANCE! hehe..

But it saddens me that i wont be able to watch the finals of the world cup in the proximity of home for i shall at that thime 10/7/2006 already be in back im Malaysia... Sad Sad Tsk Tsk.. but true... My Henry will have to play the finals of the world cup.... wait... let me rephrase the sentence... My Henry will have to WIN the world cup without me watching him him play live.... But my strength and spirit is with him even though im far far away.. (LoL).... But yeah i might not be able to watch the finals coz im arriving M'sia on sunday so i dunno if i'l still have the strength to watch d match at 2am and be up and ready for my first class in Sem 1 which starts at 8am....

Oh well... Hope that France wins!

My teachers lied to me...

2006-07-04T02:29:00.000+08:00

My primary school teachers lied to me... They all said that i have to learn my spelling and get my spellings and dictation right.. But when i got this email (actually got this mail looong gi, but only decided to post it up now) i knew they have been lying to me all this while...

The email goes like this....

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Apparently spelling aint that important after all.. hehe.. And just incase.. I know my teachers werent lying to me.. Spelling is important.. coz if i didnt know the proper spelling, i wouldnt know the first and last letters of the word..

World Cup Feminity...

2006-06-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

We are at the height of the World Cup season and i feel the dire need to reveal this particular information to those of you who actually take the time to read my ramblings... Okay here goes.. Prepare yourself.. Dont tell me i didnt warn you...

When the world cup started and the first few matched watched.. I observed something really erm interesting in the way the world goes right now... Its like everywhere ppl are talking about the world cup, where some talented superb and hot or cute guys run around and kick the ball... but i seriously belive that although the world cup IS a male game (i mean almost everything is handled by the male species) BUT i belive that female still rule it.. and in dead serious... The feminine symbol has become the most shall i say important element in this particular world cup...

What thr heck am i talking about?? Im talking about the official ball they are using for the world cup 2006... When i saw the ball (with the help of another friend) we discovered that it reminded us of something feminie... And thanks to her, since then everytime i watch the world cup and i see their official ball, i thank of that... again.. what the heck am i talking about? okay.. observe the pics below...

Yea its cool its classy... But its so feminine... Im sorry to be doing this and corrupting yoour mind... but doesnt it remind you of erm..... erm.... a female sanitary pad? Take a look again at the ball if you must... see if u agree with me....

I thought so...

So yeah, my mind have been corrupted since... A look at the ball and i remember something else... and it struck me that although as u male claim, we female dont know how to appreciate football the way it should beacause yes we girls do say things like as i quote from the above newspaper clipping "Wow handsome!" "He's cute" "Nice legs" .. Undeniable that we girl do that... but it seems to me that we female rule the world.. I mean in football the ball is everything, well everything next to d players.. but its all about the ball... thats how you score... thats how u win... so to me, even though the world cup is all male sports... we female still rule it... and i mean we female do rule it...

Did i currupt your mind?? Im sorry.... well not really... hehe... Enjoy the world cup!

Take a moment...

2006-06-29T10:48:00.000+08:00

In this bitter sweet confusingly amazing life... We have been blessed with so many things... well most of us that is... Blessed with the actual real 7 wanders of the world... 1. The sense of touch, 2. Sense of hearling, 3. Sense of sight, 4. Sence of taste, 5. Sense of smell, 6. Sense of emotions/feelings, 7. Sense of thinking/Rationality... (you may diasgree or have something to add, but this is what i think as of now)....

But its sad when one, blessed with such ability does not use it properly... We sometimes fail to understand the meaning of life because we fail to see with the eyes that we have been given the things we need to see instead of always seeing the things we want to see.. Same as to hearing, we often have the ability to hear but not everyone have the capability of listening... Often we hear but dont listen.. and often we filter things we need to hear and fill it with the things we want to hear... Im not saying that we cant see or listen to things of "wants" but we also need to accept the fact that there are things more essential that we need to hear...

For me, sometimes we crave for attention, to be heard and appreaciated... But think about it.. What if its us who always end up speaking yet we dont give others a chance to speak as well? Or if we crave to be appreciated, it wouldnt be fair if we dont take a moment to appreciate others... Sometimes it means alot to take a moment of silence to pause and reflect and listen.... To not interrupt when others are speaking (unless that person is rambling on too much and u need to do something important, like goin to d loo or sumthing)... It doesnt hurt to listen and not expect that we are the ones who needs to heard... Because when you listen.. naturally you understand... and when you understand you are appreciated.. coz i think the most simple things that any human needs is understanding... when you understand... then everything flows like the river from there....

On a lighter note...

Learn from this story...

Mommy... I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the Woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss. Then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."!

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her Shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing! the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt. Take a time to listen, it would hurt more if you didnt even try to listen....

I hope you know CPR, coz you take my breath away!

2006-06-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

One of the most hillarious things in lines are pick up lines... Oh boy... Pick up lines are so daym funny sometimes.. the things people say... Its a world wide phenomena i say.. pick up lines are ruling the world... well mostly the world of the male species... I remember the first time a guy actually used a pick up line on me... It was "Hi! May i know your name?" I was momentarily shocked, that was the first time ever anyone actually came up to me and asked my name and proceeded to asking my number.. at that particular time i was so shocked that i, Nabilah, was approached by an unknown guy... he was lucky he was cute and i was bedazzled (haha.. ryte).... well enough of that... back to the initial topic.. pick up lines....

Pick up lines... Okay i understand that in order for one to introduce oneself you need some introductary lines... thats acceptable.. but why on earth would you go round the bush and use such hillarious pick up lines for? I mean do u think by saying "I seem to have lost my phone number, can i have yours?" or "Am i dead, Angel? Coz i must be in heaven" would actually work??!! Well only time it wold work is either you are really charming to pull that off or the girl thinks youre so daym funny and deserve her number because you actually have the guts to have used such lame pick up lines on her...

BUT the thing thats bothering me now is that.. these pick up lines and also possibly flirting... is mostly used by guys... and we (the ladies) would think that the guy is either pathetic, lame or just plain funny to be using pick-up lines... and for flirting... if a guy comes up to a girl and started flirting with her, we'l ust say he's a flirt... so the question here is... what if a girl comes up to a guy and started using a pick up line on him? or to the other extent started flirting with him? what impression does the girl get? would she be called a flirt too? would the girl be "the man" for doing so? or would the girl be called a slut?

As much as a guy would submit to just a simple "hi!" from us ladies... i think, if a man do approach a lady and use a pick up line and started flirting... its not that bad.. but if the lady made the initial move... hmmm... something's quite wrong with the picture.... it just doesnt seem right... Basically my view on this is that... if a lady were to do such, a negative connotation will be imposed on her one way or another... well thats what i think... not necessarily what i believe in nor issit necassarily how i shall act upon... just plainly what i think...

Here are some pick-up lines i picked up... enjoy!

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down your number?

Do you have a name or can I call you mine?

Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.

You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Bond. James Bond.

*giggles* *rolls on the floor*

hahaha...... and that wasnt even 1/3 of it.....

Privileged Rights

2006-06-25T21:24:00.000+08:00

I often have this habit that when im away (meaning not online) there are so many things that i wish to write in my blog but when im online.. suddenly all the things that i want to write about seems to vanish... and i dont wanna end up posting one of my stupid poems... hmmm...

Anyway... while watching this tv series, dont remember what it was tho, some legal tv series.. theres this part of the script that one of the lawyer said "Freedom is a privilege, its not a right, and it can be taken away from you anytime".. Somewhere along those lines... those phrases made me think... Is our freedom a privilege or issit a right?

For some reason this triggered something else, i wasnt thinking of the freedom that we have.. well most fo us that is... but i thought of something else... something more valuable than freedom.. something more valuable than money... its the privilege and gift of life and existance... I mean being given the gift to be born into this world as a human being is such of a privilege already... to be blesses by God, to be given a chance to live life and possibly make a difference... but it struck me, how stupid some people are to have wasted that life even before they die... I mean the things people are up to right now... the things people are doing these days.. the horror we see everywhere... from not eating healthy, to smoking, to drugs, to making people's life miserable, to stealing, to murder, to prostitution , to suicide and oh the list never ends...

This is where the script is applicable.. Life itself is a privilege given to God by us, its not a right that we actually have... Yeah we have the right to live, right to freedom, right to liberty and ll hat crap.. but if we didnt have that initial privilege of life... those other "rights" will not come in palce... and these rights are incomparable to the privilege that God has blessed us with.. and the least we can do is ti love this proviled life by doing things right... maybe not all the time coz we are only humans who are prone to make mistakes... but atleast not take the life we have been given forgranted... for without life, there is no rights, and without rights there is no life...

and i suppose there is a fine line between right and privilege...

`` Don't You ``

2006-06-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

Dont you observe the lips that forms the sweet smile,

Because it could really cause you harm,

Dont you observe her beautiful face,

Because it could really poison you,

Dont you observe her soft grace,

Because it may be false,

Dont you observe her closely,

Because you may fall for her,

Dont you dare fall for her,

Because she will truly shatter your heart,

Dont you try to get close to her,

Because oh a harmful being she is,

Dont you even listen to her sweet poetic lies,

Because it could really destroy your soul,

Dont you even observe her at all,

Because you may fall into a delussion of a fantasy,

and not of the actual reality...

Ooohhh...

2006-06-18T19:21:00.000+08:00

As I position my self infront of you,

I turn you so that youre in the right position,

As your warmth spreads,

I feel the satisfaction coming over me,

You gave me pleasure as you touch me all over,

My body tingles as i feel wet,

You have that impact on me incomparable to others,

The satiscaftion,

Oh the peasure of hot shower...

(what were you thinking!! hehe)

Haha just a lil poem i came up with for the intro of my next post... Its been a while since i have a nice hot shower (with shower heads).. Oh man it feels so so so good... As the warmth was all over me a thought came to me... I start to wander how in the world do some people find the pelasure of a clod freezing shower compared to a warm hot shower... I mean its just boggles me, i cant imagine how can one spend hours in the shower when its a cold shower unless theyre shampooing their hair or they were really really dirty... But just an ordinary shower, i cant imagine how one takes plesure, spending hours in a clod shower... I cant possibly do that... I can only do that, aimlessly spending hours in a shower only when it includes a hot shower...

Moreover, what boggles me more is when one prefers to take a cold shower compare to a hot one... I mean how on earth can you do that?!?! Even when its balzing hot outside and you need a shower, its only logical to maybe first few moments take a clod shower and the rest of the time take a nice hot one.. Isnt it?? Hmmmm.... I dunno, maybe thats someting i cant understand... anyone to enlighten me on this pleasure in cold shower Vs pleasure in hot shower... please do yea..

Impact

2006-06-09T19:22:00.000+08:00

Its funny how someone can have so much impact in your life without you realizing it... It could just be a stranger, it could be someone u just met, it could be someone you once knew, it could also be that someone who are among those who you call your friends...It really amuses me how some people can just walk by your life without you even giving it a second look but there are those who walk by and their footsteps made an impact and it remains in your heart... Just to avoid confusion or misrep im not at all talking about love or of that category...

Back to what im saying... Its really a nice feeling to be experiencing... the impact people have on you and the impact you may have on people... it can sometimes be a good thing and a bad thing too.. Just imagine, one of the beggers or the people who needs donation, you walk by, get touched, donated an amount of money, and your footsteps remains in their life... and yet you remain as a stranger who made a difference....

Also, someone you once knew and lost contact... they too sometimes made a change in your life... for me, i use to get bullied when i was younger... i now lost contact and dont even know where my bullies are.. but yet they had once made an impact in my life and will always will despite our unknown distance... People who criticized you, whether with good or bad intentions also often make impact...

and its amazing that among the many people you call friends.. some make a greater impact on you than the others.... despite if you have known then for years or even sayyy 2 or 3 weeks.... yet bonds are stronger and chmistry more explosive... for me those are the knid that make the greatest friendship... time is not the measurement of a great friendship... i have one very good friend named Nazurah... We were in the same school for 3 years, never once in d same class and now we are miles and miles away but yet the chemistry still make explosions and bond still stands strong even though we are miles apart and get to see each other once a year...

Its really amazing this feelings... i sometimes thing its greater than a love you might feel with a significant other... because its not just love over there.. its so much more... friendship, true ones are as rare as true love... A stranger, someone you are aquainted to or one of your colleague, friend, enemies whatever u may call the person... if they touched that lil heart of yours, it will always be touched...

Society...

2006-06-01T14:56:00.000+08:00

Had a two hour talk on the phone with a newly found good friend last night... Some thoughts have been trigged out of this lil stubborn head of mine...

[prior warning, not to criticize, not to offend, merely just rambling on aimlessly]

It seems that we are the product of societal construct and to an extent only of societal expectations... How we operate and how we function, the things we do, the things we live up to are just mostly if not entirely a preduct of what the society wants and expects of us...

I mean many of my actions or lack of actions have been questioned by many... A simple thing as why in the world do i NOT have a boyfriend a.k.a not in a realtionship? I mean on the surface it seems like a pretty silly question to b analytical about but when the question has been fired to me from every direction more than once it seems only reasonable to analyse it... so here goes.. A simple normal question often raised are being raised from the expections that the society inflicts upon you.. It has become rather a trend that seems to always be revolving around your life that u have a partner meaning a boy or girl friend or atleast in the phase of searching for one... It has so much impact that a 10 year old would actually think of it as something normal and he/she should actually do it too... I mean i got really shocked to find out that my 10 year old kid friend has a boyfriend/ex boyfreind... I mean when i was 10, heck, i never even thought of liking the opposite sex, let alone have a boyfriend... daym..

Somehow the idea of having someone else, a partner has become a stigma inflicted upon one's life and mentality... and i found it rather disturbing... On the first level, this social stigma has become so widespread that its manisfestation upon children of this generation has become something of a negative product... these little kids fussing about boyfriend, love, relationships and break ups when they dont even kno the spelling of it thus not knowing d meaning of it and also d sacredness of a relationship (well atleast i thin s relationship with a significant other is something sacred altho not as sacred as a marriage)... So yeah it really bothers me...

On the second level, this social stigma has created an unnecessary pressure on the inhabitants of the world.. I mean somehow that seems to be the only thing revolving in d air... somehow it makes one think that if youre not attached something is wrong... having a relationship has become so intuned with everyday life that its like eating a bar of chocolate or icecream... So when these sorta questions are fired to me more than often it makes me wander... what is the big deal?! whats wrong if i choose to remain single untill i find my "yours truly"? We all have our life to lead and options that we choose... Societal implications, expectatins and stigma will forever be present... but still who says you cant live up to your individuality? Its not about conforming or being a non confirmist.... Its basically just living life the way you wish to and as long as youre not harming others, i dont see any problem to that...

Just incase, im not saying that those who are in a relationship are wasting their time, no! IM happy you found your love already... But im just merely saying that it shoudnt be a big deal if one chooses to not be in a relationship... Social stigma sometimes need to be put aside...

My beliefs are plainly,

I dont need a man to make me feel secure... I dont need a man to feel cared... I dont need a man to make me feel loved... I dont need a man to make me feel happy... But when the time comes that i finally find my man, we will both secure each other, we will both be cared for, we will both be loved unconditionally, we will both be happy regardless.....

As simple as that...

In a nut shell...

2006-05-31T16:13:00.000+08:00

After a loong while without writing anything in this dull and inactive blog of mine.. i decided to somehow gather the words to write something to fill it up with something new... In a nut shell, i have been gettin intuned with my debating life... I just got back from Philippines few days ago... Participated in my first international competition called the AUDC (Asians University Debating Championship) sadly as a judge... It was a pretty cool way to start off i suppose... Many things i have learnt in the whole trip.. Getting to know about the way these sorta competion is organized and held... Sadly too none of our teams made it to d finals... well we win some, we lose some... but thats besides d point... it isnt all about winning... Like one of the trainers said, if you get out of this competition being a better debator thats success already... So although i was not sent as a debator but instead a judge, i think it may hav contributed to me being a better debator... Because i suppose i now hav the ability to see both sides of the debate, be aware of the typical common mistakes usually made, think outside the box and the list goes on....

Moreover, in this experience i have made and found friends that i once never thought of having a proper conversation(without feeling akward) for more than 10 minutes... There i have learnt to value things that in a normal everyday life i wouldnt take more than 2 seconds to think about.. Something as simple as getting halal food...

But in a nutshell, i enjoyed the experience.. and im sure i have learnt a relatively high amount of knowledge.... for example, when checking out a hot guy in Philippines also check out that theyre not gay... hehe...

Aloof....

2006-04-19T03:24:00.000+08:00

18/4/05..

[Just for the record.. Im currently in Brunei.. goin back soon]

Met up with my darling Fae accompanied by Mash and Ikram… after quite some time me and Fae had so much to catch up about… the drama mostly… seems like I'v missed quite a few things and she needed to be updated wif whats been goin on in my life... It was nice seein her again.. also Mash ans Ikram... Seems like these two girls did a pretty good job at making a replacement for Alee... Kesian Ikram... hehe..

Anyway what i have realized is dat where ever we are.. with the same crowd or a new croud dramas are bound to happen.. Misunderstanding... Arguements... relationship... Friendship... Tears... Laughter... Pain... Happiness... all a vicious cycle of life... Ur old freinds like new ones may doubt your steps... Not trusting you... Accusing you.. Not understanding you... Criticizing you.. all d same where ever you are... When was there ever a time that anyone was never hurt by one we call a friend?! As far as i know... It seems like all those friends close to me have hurt me if not many times, atleast once... and dat usually hurts d most compared to d other casual friends around....

Funny aint it that some casual friend can accuse you of bein a bitch and it dznt hurt so much but when one of your closest friend acts a lil indifferent towards you... it hurts so so much... I have lived most of my life being surrounded by friends... but none of d close ones have failed to not hurt me... directly or indirectly.... but hey we cant live w/out our friends... dats y sumtyms we have to forgive tho we are not at fault... dats y sumtyms we hav to compromise altho it means giving up sumthng dat is dear to you... sumtyms we just have to make do with what is there and not want more... Accepting and being accepted with both sides understanding and compromizing is what is needed in a frienship.... which i think is really lacking...

I had a friend who was really close to me.. really close that he helped me get over my ex.. but after dat long bein buddies... without any signs of a drizzle coming, a thunderstorm came and we were swept away into 2 directions... we drifted apart, him initiating it... i tried to get through him but after so many non-responsive try... i gave up... and still untill now im still wandring why... we havnt talked in years... havnt met in more years... we were buddies.. we were pals... i'd still like to think that we are... but... he never confronted me what actually went wrong? bcoz of that im still wandring.. im not mad ot anything.. just sad... and wandering.... what happened to dat friendship?

------------------------------------------

Just when things seems to b in a right place I find myself very aloof and disappointed.. my curiosity of the unsettled past seems to still haunt me...

why did it happen? why am i still hurt I have no idea..

Whoopeee :)

2006-02-28T15:08:00.000+08:00

On the latest update from this lonely long forgotten person who is pretty much left out from what is goin on around her "brunei friends" just bcoz she dont she dznt have easy acess to internet o check up on them and visit their blog and leave a shout out.... heres my update of whats goin on in my life with or without ppl actually reading... Hahaha i sound so emo...

anyway... dat fact put aside... i am not being in tune again in debating after a while... reason being so? i am aiming for the Asians debate dats gonna be held in a few months time in Philippines and New Zealand.. and IF i get choosen.. the expenses will be FULLY covered!! daymm.. dat means a free trip there!!!! say sum words, put forward a few aruguements, lose some but win most of it n be the champion in d end and SIGHT SEEING!!!!!!! hehehe....

Well as a pre requisite for dat i was asked to join the inter hostel debating championship... dint get to the finals tho, just to de semi-finals as the top 10 teams... we stopped there BUT i didnt... in the closing ceremony i was called 2 hours before the ceremony started by the President of the Debate Club announcing "Hi Nabilah, this is form the Debate Club, u have been invited to be the MC for tonight's ceremony......(me freaking out in between screaming WHAATTT?!?! WHY MEE?!!?)...... because we thing ur the best person for this position" i actualy decided to do so...

so with an hour of dressin up (u kno dats not usually enuf for a gurl whose suppose to be MC-ing n an hour of preparation... i was up there infront of the rector, dep rector, some VIP's n a whole audi of students *deep breath* i started the ceremony... and towards the end i was with d debate president for the prize giving n all... announcing bla bla bla... applause... announcing bla bla bla... applause... then it came to the Best Speakers category.... on the Best Female Debator.... what did i see?!?!?!

*drum rolls*

MY NAME!!!!

hahaha... i was like whispering to my co-MC.. i think u should announce that... haha... imagine d MC goin from d podium to d front stage... ehhe... so yeah... my 1st achievement, in my 1st tournament in UIA i got first place af the best female speaker... Yayyyyy... happy happy.. joy joy...

but it didnt end there... i have to come to training 3 times a week and only later will i kno if i'l b selected for the asians debate.. hmm.. so wish me luck ppl...

guess dats it for now... exam fever catching up soon... and our ared has bird flu so i'v been deprived of my beloved chicken for abt a week now.. hope i'l pull through... :)

Poems from this "lonely" heart (hehe)

2006-02-15T17:30:00.000+08:00

I think the "love in the air" mood around me is getting to me... I actually wore red yesterday.. hahaha...

Just a form of expression (cant awez have emo poems can i?!) hehe...

Part of You

I hear YOUR words pass my lips,
YOUR phrases that have become mine,
A part of you has become me,
Because of the thoughts of you in my mind

A smile plays upon my face,
When I hear the words that I say,
It's like having a part of you,
with me every minute of every day.

You are always on my mind,
from the very moment I arise
Each step through the day,
your absence is my demise

I want to know that i love you,
Its visible in every way
You can see it in my eyes
through my heart and soul...

Being With You

When I think of how we met I wonder was it fate? Was it chance?
I only know that when I'm with you ,
I have this feeling of completeness that I have never felt before...
A warm feeling that begins with just a look from you...
A touch from you and I feel my mind and body begin to melt...
Being in your arm's I feel safer and stronger than I have ever felt...
You give me the courage to be the real me...
You look at me and I feel special...
Only know i know what true love feels like,
And why or how we found each other dont matter no more,
Just to know that im a better person when im with you...

True Fictional Tribulance

2006-02-13T17:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes things are happening too fast dat u cant seem to grasp... one minute things can be all smiling and happy and the next moment its all tension and cold.... its just boggles my mind on how you can just be all happy and cheery, talking and smiling to me... and when i turn my back and tuen again towards you, you become cold...its funny how you awez seem to have a nice tone and smile for everyone else but and dont even have a smile on your face for me...

when i come to you to just talk and express, i was glad that you didnt push me away... but when i start to utter my words, you shout at me for keeping a long and stressed face all day... if only you knew what actually i am going through... i kno everyone have their own shit.. so i have my own as well... if only you could understand what i have been doing.. if only you could imagine i have been keeping inside... what i cannot speak of... what i have been hiding inside... if olny you appreciate more.... if only.....

Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening

Peep the style and the kids checking for it
The number one question is
How could you ignore it
We drop right back in the cut
Over basement tracks
With raps that got you backing this up like
[Rewind that]
We're just rolling with the rhythm
Rise from the ashes of stylistic division
With these non-stop lyrics of life living
Not to be forgotten
But still unforgiven
But in the meantime there are those who wanna
Talk this and that
So I suppose it gets to a point feelings gotta get hurt
And get dirty with the people spreading the dirt
[It goes]

Try to give you warning
But everyone ignores me
[Told you everything loud and clear]
But nobody's listening
Call to you so clearly
But you don't want to hear me
[Told you everything loud and clear]
But nobody's listening

I got a
Heart full of pain
Head full of stress
Handful of anger
Held in my chest
And everything left is a waste of time
I hate my rhymes
[But hate everyone else's more]
I'm riding on the back of this pressure
Guessing that it's better
I can't keep myself together
Because all of this stress
Gave me something to write on
The pain gave me something
I could set my sights on
You never forget the blood sweat and tears
The uphill struggle over years
The fear and trash talking
And the people it was to
And the people that started it
Just like you

I got a
Heart full of pain
Head full of stress
Handful of anger
Held in my chest
Uphill struggle
Blood, sweat and tears
Nothing to gain
Everything to fear

-- Just dont go over my limit---

Still i am the one to blame....

2006-02-03T14:25:00.000+08:00

People around me deceiving me,
So i resort to remain unseen,
Lying alone in d shodows,
To find solitude among the four walls...

Tribulance and pain surfacing again,
And crying doesnt seem to work,
Endless tears seems useless,
Pain seems unbearable yet incomprehensable...

How do i speak up,
When you force me to remain silent?
How do i stand up,
When you force me to stay still?

How do i smile,
When all u want is for me to cry?
And yet you still blame me for behaving this way,
When its you who are forcing me to be this way...

Finally...

2006-02-02T09:49:00.000+08:00

It has been a while and now I have decided to start blogging agai... With the things that has been happening and are happening... it seems like I needed a place where I could express… although it should be noted that I wont blog as frequent but I will be from now and then… once in a while...

Another thing that needs to be said is, to all my beloved friends (you kno who u are) I am missing you dearly over here... even though I'm silent and havnt been sms-ing or email-ing plz kno dat ur close to my heart no matter where u are… its obvious that were caught up with our own lives, studies, work, life in general, but just so u ppl know I stillvalue d friendship dat we have… even tho I have new ones around me but I still value u guys a lot... just trust me on this aite... I’l leave to this point.. will update from time to time okay..

sommetimes things happens when u least expect it..
and dznt happen when u were rily expecting it...
troubles comes..
problems go..
and hearts break..
while tears are shed..
and its all a routine we all have to go through..
some may cry and some eventually die..
but its d strentgh, faith and dat thing call "love" dat keeps us alive..
so keep dat in you..
in whatever means u can..
as it will help and giude you..
in this painful routine we call life...

Someone special....

2005-10-11T10:13:00.000+08:00

Theres something that i know i shud'v done ages ago, i have exposed who my special guy is over here... We have been together for about 4 month now and there arent major problems yet... A lil bit of ish here and there and he can also be a nuisance sometimes but all is going well... im happy tp be with him and were pretty much in love with each other... so here now i will show u who my baby is...

everyone! Meet Daniel....

Hehehe i hope some of u would know dat im talking about my boy friend Daniel... Hope non wandered off and thought dat im actually with a male human being coz dat aint happening yet... hehehe... me and the male species are just on friendly terms with a lil bit of "harmless" flirtatiousness here and there... hehe... Here are some more pictures of myself... some are taken candid, some are "posing" pictures and the very last picture is the cutest of em all.. took the pic myself so dont go thinking that its some photo shop pic or a rip off from some website coz i took d pics myself.. hehe...

Anyway... dats about it... too lazy to say anymore coz theres nothing much going on... Oh yeah i was one of the highest in one of my calss on an assigenment, dot 14/15.. hehe.. n the assignment was about "The Rights of Female in Islamic States"... Hehe.. one of the most spiced up topic for a female's life.. Erm.. Final exams are just round d corner so wish me luck...

To those who have exams coming up, GOOD LUCK PPL!!!

==== "Coz its you and me and all other people with nothing to do, nothing to loose and its you and me and all other people and i dunno why i cant take my eyes off you..." ====

Laa Dee Daa...

2005-09-28T12:04:00.000+08:00

So now onw by one slowly those ppl who i know have left Brunei and only a handful are still in brunei... Im happy to know that my frens are all in UK fulfilling their dreams but im abit down coz they all left me ALL ALONE in KL while all of them have fun in UK.... hmm.. and its also sad to know that when i return to brunei for raya half the ppl i know arent gonna be there.. sedih jua tuu.. but yeah what to do, im grateful that atleast not ALL of them are gone....

So basically apart from the overwhelming load of work & the endless throb of the head im coping with things well enough... only when things got so packed up (like a major assignment due on the same day that i have two mid term exam) that i feel like just goin back to brunei in my compy air conditionsed room surrounded by my dolphins and just sleep... hehe (i wish).. but other than that its okay.. only sucky part is that i dont seem to have the familiarity of my known frens to bitch about... they just arent the same like u guys...

okay other than my "work life" my so called "social life" has been sorta erm packed... when making frens with the oppsite sex i have encountered some "drama episodes" that is just at one point a nuisance.. ppl from d same culture are as confusing as those from a different culture... seriously.. u wud'v thought that atleast those from the same culture are less complicated but i was pproven wrong... guys are just guys no matter where that some from...

i have also been buzy with debates and also futsal.. we had a match d other day (2 days ago) we were supposed to go against brunei and indonesia but idiotically they both backed up in the very last minute .. so we ended up goin against each other Spore team A Vs Spore team B... i was as usual the attacking mid fiender... and the macth was a tie 1-1 with ME scoring the goal for my team... *huge smile* so u guys knowing me, my frens and my room mates especially had to endure my "bragging about my goal" to them... hehehe...

UIA's debate team are like shit man... theyre daym daym daym good... were debating not suing the asian style but the britisn parliamentary style with opening government and closing government Vs opening opposition and closing opposition.. the format are almost the same but the difference is that the opening and closing team altho from the governing side are kynda against each other.. if i were to explain the whole thing it wud so take up space so no need...

Oh yeah these few days i have been speaking bruneian with none other than the one and only Zura.. i misses speaking brunei so much that both me n zura annoyed our frens with our way of speaking and we were laughing to our own inside jokes... drove our frens crazy.... AND the annoying bit for me was that i was also in the mood if speaking malay with d msian n sporeans but then i spoke malay theyre like "whoa it just sound weird hearing malay words coming from your mouth".. haha daym was i "insulted".. hehehe... but yeah i dont really care, weird or not im still gonna speak it when i feel like it.. hehe..

well basically atu saja lah yg kan ku cakapkan awal anie.. inda ku tau lagi apa kan di cakapkan.. yg ku tau aku rindu kamu semua d mana jua kamu berada.. hehe.. bah kan ke class ku nie.. heheh... more updates coming.. peace out! hehe..

Series of events...

2005-09-16T15:32:00.000+08:00

A lil update from the Quiet Bubble...

Last week a series of things happend to me.. First was mummy coming to KL to take me to S'pore to attend my cousin's engagement... She said she was coming alone n everything.. So when i went to pick her up i was expecting to see her and only her... THEN *kaboom* i say a lil tiny gurl standing behing the trolley half hidden.. Gosh did i shriek with scream and laughter whenni saw my adorable lil sister with her.. Daym it was already happy just to see my mum and its like double happiness when i saw my sister... If my brother was there, my level of happiness wud'v achieved its maximum.. hehe.. so on the way to spore.. mum and i was just chatting along, updating each other n everything... it was all good...

In Singapore....
I got to see my cousin's engagement reception, got to see the guy who i have to "share" her with... The engagement itself was unexpected, coz she wasnt with the guy or anything, the guy's her 2nd or 3rd cousion (i dunno) and he came with his family and proposed her.. JUST LIKE THAT.... she went ballistic coz it was unexpected and she's only wat 21 so bla bla bla she accepted and theyre engaged... so back to my point.. i get to see her getting engaged and i get to see his husband to be.... it was a moment of both happiness and also sadness... the only annoying part was that in the family she's the eldest grabd daughter and im the one after her... so my grandma was like introducing me to all these aunts n ppl saying "thats my other grand daughter" and all that and also my aunts n uncle was teasing me saying when is my turn, bla bla bla and all that shit... but other than that it was ll good... hehehe..

Hmmm... upom returning to KL i found out that my campus or basically the whole area (Gombak) had no water coz there was an accident btween 2 oil truck and the oil spilled and polluted/contaminated the reservoir for that Gombak area... so LUCKILY and COINCEDENTALLY the classes on the monday afternoon was cancelled and we had 2 days pf holiday.... LUCKILLY and COINCIDENTALLY mummy was here so i get to spend the time with her... got my stuff and checked into a hotel.... aaaahhhh the pleasure of air-conditioned room with hot showers.... daym i tell u ahh when u have been living in the hostel and deprived of air condition and hot water u tend to value these things alot... what i'v learnt... dont take things forgranted...

So now class resumed as normal and exam are on again... my next week will be DAYM hectic... bcoz of the 2 days break n all exams have been postponed and now rescheduled... so i'l have assignments due and numerous number of exams.. AND almost everything else is gonna be done next week.. registration, faying of fees n other stuff... bummer talk about hectec uni life... Hope i'l manage and cope with next week well...

Oh yeah the finance department is bloody annying... They cant even bloody tell me how much im suppose to pay.. One mintue they tell me this amont and d next its another amount thats doubled the first amount... and they bloody cant confirm bcoz the guy incharge is not there... and so i have to go back to them again this afternoon.... hmmm... i'd like to give the full details but i think it'l be filled with explicit content thats unsuitable for the underage... hehe..

Dats about it... will update again....
Pray for me dat i'l do well in my exams...
to those whose flying off, happy flying.. hehe..

To whom it may concern...

2005-08-18T15:38:00.000+08:00

I woke up to a "BeeP" on my phone this morning and saw it was a msg from my darling Fae saying that she and a whole lot of others got the scholarship... I woke up with a smile on my face.. It made my day knowing that my beloved friends got the scholarship.... So to those ppl, Fae, Mel, Haz, Yani, Fadz, Fezz, Kash, Rey, Fidz, Muna and if there are others whom i didnt state their name, im sorry coz the news havent got to me yet...

Basically i wanna give a shoutout to those who got the scholarhsip... CONGRATZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

Oh yeah another thing after the congratz n all... To all of u sholarship UK ppl DONT AND NEVER forget me!!! Dont forget to set up the "Bring Bil To UK Fund" coz im really relying on the to go to uk and see all of u there at Brunei Hall... hehehe... Jangan lupa c Bil ahhh... Bil cry karang.. hehe...

So once again, congratzz to you all!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

<-erutcip- time!!!

2005-08-08T15:55:00.000+08:00

Okay first things first.. Tag replies!!!

[Mel] Aww i miss you too love... Brabisly brabis... Now everytime i hear a song from ahli fikir, i think of you.. hehe..*mwahzzz*

[Mashes] aww cianzz.. For me its one down 3 more to go... *bummer*

[Faegaboo] hahaha... im NOT anti-male!! But u see i had a few encounter of male chauvinist (hwever the spelling is) and i thought lets give some other MALE SPECIES some reminder that theyre not all that good... so dont get me wrong.. I LOVE THE MALE SPECIES.... Btw i just "made friends" with REALLY HOTT guys from Kosovo.. *drool* hehe... miss u babe!

[BabyFaye] Hahah yup men men men... too bad we cant resist them.. hehe.. Miss u lotzz...

[Najee] Naj!! Naj!! Naj!! Naj!! Naj!! i miss you!!! Hows Japan doing??

=====~~~~====~~~~====~~~~====~~~~====~~~~

A lil bit of update...

Believe it or not, I Nabilah Ulfah a.k.a BiLLyEe BoO is in a Futsal team, under the Singapore Union Association... Hehehe... So yeah ALee u can bomb me with the insultts... and Fae yeah i will soon find out how u feel about the teasing n all... hehe...

AND refering to my blog title... The title is meant to read "Picture time" if some of you are wandering what d hell it is... hehe... so here it is the delayed pictures that i have been meaning to show... and btw its also pictures from back then, just to show some of the few ppl that i truly miss... enjoyy!!

== My farewell Party & other pictures==

(missing the good old days...)

AND to those whose picture is not here, it doesnt mean that i miss you less...

Something i havent done for a while...

2005-08-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,.................

Here goes!

Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright

.Men are like.....Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like.....Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Hahaha... Im still me i guess! Havent put up a "sexist" post for a while, so i felt like doing that for the sake of it... Hope u pppl enjoyed it as much as i did... hehehe....

xoxoxo xoxoxo xoxoxo xoxoxo

Read till the end...

2005-07-28T15:01:00.000+08:00

First of all... Tagboard Replies...

[Alee] Guess what?? On my laptop d screen saver is pictures from my document, and theres a picture of you smiling showing of ur teeth when i had my farewell.. and believe it or not? a few of my girl frens here thinks youre cute in dat pic.. *eewww* hehehe.. wuv u!!

[Mel] Hahah u got it too? guess both of us is rejecting the offer... UBD will not be honoured the presence of the two "Cutie Playazz" hehe.. sayang u too...

[Faye] Awww i miss u too, miss listening to your dramatic life story... <3 <3

[Fifa] I miss you soooo much too.. N it was nice talking to you after so long.. Hope everthing goes well aite love..

[BabyFaye] your wish to hear my update is my command! hehe.. miss you.. <3

[Mashes] Mashhhhhhhh.... <3<3 back.. hehe

Now to the updates...

Hmm.. life over here has been very much okay with a lil bit of ish here and there... Havent really adapt to the whole environment but coping pretty well with it... Lectures have started and accignments is piling up... and the library is soon to be my "next home" coz of all the individual research i have to do.. I mean its no longer spoon feeding but its basically...

Lecturer says: "Here is the topic of your assignment and i want it by two weeks"
OR
Lecturer says: "Here's a list of topics, make a group of three and prepare a presentation, thats your assignment and its due date is in about 2 weeks"
OR
The lecturer gives you an essay question that you have nothing whatsoever knowledge about it and expects a 5 page essay in 2 weeks time...

Bummer... I miss the spoon feeding educational lifestyle.. seriously i do... This is what they call University life... That is something i have yet to cope and get use to, especially the "due date in two weeks time".. *sigh*

Socially over here is ookayy... reminds me of MD where they kynda separate the guys section and the gurls section but no one really pays attention of it anyway... hahaha... Its like MD, just a whole lot bigger...

What abt love life some may wander?? Well i cant say theres none/nothing going on BUT i cant say there is something going on either.... Yeah , true enough feelings are surfacing BUT i think its still too early for me to be caught in this whole bullshit on relationship... Im still the skeptical girl that u guys know... "HE" and other "he's" has made it hard for me to trust the male species more than ever... Still have that stupid feeling and thinking that i cant give my heart to anyone yet even though i love him coz i can imagine seeing him just shattering my heart infront of my eyes... Yup all the ish that happened has put that image/action on replay.... a vivid nightmare...

Ok enough of all this crap.... and apologies to the male species for making generalization and being as skeptical as i am right now... peace! hehehe...

Oh yeah.. Major breaking depressing news.... I planned to surpirse u all by going back for my Mid Term break this august for one week.. BUT THEN the university just rescheduled the calender and shortened the break for only 3 days with the purpose of extending the hari raya break... So... that means i cant go back to brunei... I mean its REALLY REALLY depressing coz i already book the ticket and now i have to cancell it... Just found out abt it 3 days ago.. called mummy yday and cried telling her.. so yeah... So much for wanting to see my family and surprise u all.. Guess im the one who got the surprise back.... *sob* *sob* AND after readong some of u ppl's post [Haz's birthday blast, Alee's never ending full of himself post with pictures, Fae's never ending dramatic post and Mel's everlasting emo post] its making me feel MORE MORE MORE home & friends sick than what im feeling already... *tears falling*

So yeah thats basically the update that im able to give at the moment... Till then.. Take care u guys.. Miss u guys alot more than ever... <3<3<3<3<3

Settle down already...

2005-07-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

Things are finally settling down now... Things have been very hectic with the EPT and the registration.. and now im finally going to classes and learning something... Taking baby steps to the journey ahead of me... [wish me luck on that]

Mum msgd me this morning saying that UBD called and said i have been offered a place over there... Basically im accepted into UBD... She then asked me if i was offered the scholarship [coz i applied for the UBD schloarship] would i like to come back.. She said she approves it if i were to come back... THAT was like a slap to me for some reason.. For sure i dont want to go to UBD when i have a place over ehre already but then to think again IF i was offered the scholarship i would not burden my parents with all the expenses... So i told her, if the letter comes and im offered the scholarship then we should have a serious talk and think things over seriously... so then she went to UBD to check it out... Told me i was accepted to B.A of Public Policy and Administration, told me the the expenses and evrything... and i guess the offer didnt come with the scholarship coz she said she said its okay for me to stay here... but then again im not sure coz she didnt say anything more... In a way im relieved that it didnt come with the scholarship but at the same time im kynda bummed abit coz dat means my parents have to spend on me.... i dunno.. she said she'l update me about UBD and the scholarship... so im still caught in whatever it is... so yeah...

Hmmm.... oh yeah last weekend i went to KLCC to watch a movie... Amityville Horror.. DAYM was that a good movie or what! daym scary, daym good! 5 stars for it... The walk at KLCC was fun, went out to a few places with a few poeple... i think im getting hold of the public transport over here, well the Taxi and the LRT only, not the bus yet... I mean i miss my car and driver soOoOo much but yeah i have to live with what i have at the moment which is my LEGS... haha i mean seriously i think since i started here i'v used my legs more than ever.... Dunno if i said it already but i from my hostel to the campus its like a 15-20 minutes walk and imagine if i was halfway and i left something important?!?! dat be shitty... hehe

Oh yeah im currently infecting n disrupting the minds of my room mates with my "colourful choices of songs"... my current over rated theme songs are "i feel good", "P.I.M.P"and a few more... I'v been singing it too much that one of my room mates said that when she was in psychology class, suddenly "P.I.M.P " came to her head and she could imagine my face, my expression singing it... she now hates me for that... hehe...

Gosh i better put some pictures up next time coz its getting boring just reading words... Will try to have that d next time i update aite...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo

Dramatic & Long updale.. hehe..

2005-07-14T13:22:00.000+08:00

Well... here's another one of those update just for the sake of updating post... Well today i just got my (EPT) English result and i [alhamdulillah] passed which means ALOT to me than the ordinary... why so? its bcoz well when i first came here we had to sit for the English Placement Test (EPT) and we have to get more then 78 marks above to pass Level 6 (the maxmimum Level) and exit to the Kulliyah.. Bla bla bla, i "failed" and was put to Level 5.. Before this the Level that a student needed to go to was only untill level 4 and this year it was somehow upgraded.. And out of abt 170 international undergraduates only 9 were allowed to sit for their speaking and listening skills and "passed".. so me and the students were really unhappy abt it coz we have to sit for one semester JUST for english and we are not allowed to continue into our course (Kulliyah) only untill we reach to Level 6..

One Level = One Semester = 4 month

So imagine, i have to take abt a year of ENGLISH ONLY just to exit to my kulliyah... I was depressed, unhappy n all that.. So me and a few other ppl with the help of out seniors decided to make a Petition to ecpress our dissatisfaction towards the implementation of this unfair system... So with only TWO days till our deadline we stayed up till like 12 discussing and writing up the petition letter.. Just imagine, ME writing a petition letter after only abt one week being here in the uni... hahaha talk about rebellious...

But anyway it wasnt against the rule coz over here we are allowed to do so... so with the petition letter ready and about 110 over signature we head up to the head office and gave in our letter.. Bla bla bla... the dean had a meeting to discuss this and they came to a conclusion to recheck our test scores... All of us international students... Then after a few days of waiting the new EPT result, more than half of the people we allowed to take the speaking and listening skills... We were happy and actually surprised that our petition actually worked and was a success for most of us... Hahah talk about rebellious achievements... hehe

So now im in a very happy and grateful mood that i am able to go to my Kulliyah and not waste one freakin year studying english only.... hehehe...

Now moving onto my "social life".. I made alot of freinds over here... Have some really good friends here... My room mates are great, one is some of u might know her, is Zura from MD, another is Muna from Sri Lanka and Shazmin from Kenya... Theyre lovely room mates and im getting along with them well.. My room is considered the BEST over here compared to all the other hostels coz we got one that was brand new and all the furniture is new, even the matress was still in plastic when we got in... hehe...

Ermmm well like what i told Ali, i met this guy who reminds me ALOT like Ali, he's from Oman, his name Haithem... He's a very nice guy and we clicked so well during our first meet that we have become really good friends only in a matter of weeks.. To describe him, some may call him "tall, dark and handsome" and lets just day his character is like a Male version of me... All is great but bcoz we have been hanging around each other alot, ppl think we have something going on or sumthing which is really annoying coz theres nothing really... oh well, what can u expect out of this type of society anyway... hehe...

oh god i have been writing TOO MUCH.. Sorry to bore u guys but u'l have to expect this from me coz its not like i can log in to the internet everyday just to update u guys.. so bear with me aite...

I'l stop here for now, miss u guys LOADS!!!!

P/s: Any IMPORTANT update abt u guys, TAG or POST A COMMENT aite coz i honestly dont really have much time to go to ur blog and read.. But if i have time i WILL SURELY read it okayy... mwahzzz

FINALLY!!!

2005-07-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

Oh my god!!! Finally i got hold of an internet connection after sooooooo long.... I feel whole again... haha.. *currently at the cybercafe nearby th hostel*

Okay first things first, im goin pretty okay here... made alot of frens.. international students from like all over the place.. From Kenya, Oman, some Arab ppl, Africa, from "hometown" Singapore, from Sri Langka, Comoros Island, Indonesia, German, from everywhere.... Its such a great feeling meeting so many ppl from so many diff countries... Although the early days over ere has been ey tough but basically im enjoying my time over here and im MISSING EVERYONE ALOTTTT!!!

Now to the updating on a day-to-day basis kynda thing... When i left Brunei, it was a really depressing moment for me, thank god my family was still here with me so i had the support i needed... Once i reached Malaysia, the Uni i had to adapt to the whole NEW environment... It was really really different and i wasnt fully prepared to what i had to encounter but all goes well and my room mates are nice great people...

Once enrolled into the Uni, we had the orientation week which was sooooo much fun, not like in MD when they bully u n all that, this one was so exciting that i was looking forward to the porgramme the next day... The pepople i met here are so daym great and the seniors that was assisting us with the programme made us feel at ease and so much better... Basically the orientation weekis da bese.. EXCEPT that we had tests along the way... English and Arabic and IRK and tomorrow im having my Quran test.... The tests are abit stressful but yeah we have to go through with it and yeah cope with it...

Oh yeah, the university is SoOoOoOo HUGE! im dead serious... To go from the hostel to the main campus it takes me like a 15-20 minutes walk... And to go from one place to another at the campus takes atleast a 5 minutes walk... Yup believe it alryt... But the thing is that i havent finished my orientation so i havent started my classes yet, so i dunno how that will go... ill update later... Hmmm.... Oh yeah the food here is so nice.. its like they have all kinds of food, they have the malay restaurant, the international restaurant, the Arab restaurant and my favourite place to eat is the Kyros Kebab.. They have it here in the campus and its WAYYYYYY better than the one in brunei at the Mall.. Im serious.... hehehehe...

Hmm... oh yeah praise ur self coz i have an announcement to make... I noww have an official boyfriend that im inlove with... Its not Anuar Zain, its not Taufik... Itssssss MY LAPTOP!!! ehehe.. yeah i have my own laptop right now... only things is that here they dont have wireless everywhere there are only a few places and i have to find that out... One i know where i will so be attached to the laptop and the internet.... But for now, im gonna try to go online every now and then aite....

What else..... Oh yeah to the bad side of this place... The system is soo bad... I mean they are not as systematic as whatwe expected out of them.. Like for one of the test we were told ehat the test is at 5pm but suddenly out of no where the test is held at 12pm and we were all rushing to the place calling the ppl we know.. there are a few more but i dont feel like writing it now.....

Basically im pretty much VERY homesick... i msg my mum every single day and i miss them ALOT... also u ppl... I so miss you guys... i mean if u only u guys were here to share this new experience with me it would have been really sweet, really da bomb.... But yeah.... Dont worry how many new friends i have i will never forget u guys coz u guys are just too special for me....

Gosh theres just so much to write but im running out of time... Will try my best to update u guys on whats happening aite.. untill then, I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!

Pray for me, wish me luck.. MWAHZZZZZZ....

Time's running up...

2005-06-25T02:05:00.000+08:00

Its 2am right now and i just finished packing... Did it without tears but im sure i will break down once i try to get to bed.. So yeah its my "last night" in brunei before i leave... well since im separting at abt 10.30pm i have 8hours and counting.. Gosh i just cant believe that im leaving all of you and some i may not see again for a VERYYY Loooong Time.... Saying goodbye to the closest friend is where the pain sinks in..

It has been a very wonderful experience for me meeting all of u, those who reads this n those who dznt, Living as a foreigner in this country has made me value friendship and those who area close i hold them close like my family.... To those of you who had been with me through thick and thin, the good and bad (you know who u are) i thank you alot and i cant imagine how id cope living here without u ppl around...

Like the tyipcal life cycle i have to start all over again once i reach Malaysia... New place, new ppl, new evrything... I dunno how many times iv said this but im leaving the familiarity of brunei and my friends for something so alien... Gosh how im so gonna miss evry single one of you... Will miss the miss calls, the go out, the evrything... but yeah life must go on.... I cant continue anymore coz i just cant say the correct words to say.. My brain is thinking of too many things at the same time and my mixtures of emotions have extremely multiplied...

For now id like to say to everyone, thanks for being there for me all this while and thanks for making Brunei feel like my home... W/ou t u guys im sure it wont b the same...

*sob*
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Tsk Tsk

2005-06-19T19:59:00.000+08:00

Even though some ppl did not come for my "Farewell Gathering" it all went good... It was a blast actually... Thanks to u ppl who came and to those who didnt come, too bad i cdnt see u to say goodbye... Anyhow... The whole thing for mw was very depressing... Even tho i was full of smiles i was trying so hard not to cry when hugging and saying goodbye to evryone... It was an inevitable moment but like Baby Faye said it is a changefor a good cause... So yeah...

To think that i am going in 6 more days... Leaving the familiar faces of my frens who have stood by me, who have been with me keeping up with my ish for something new and alien... At this particular moment, i dont know who to run to once im over there and i need someone.. I men here i can run to Ali, Aimi, Baby Faye, Fae, Hafiz, Hairi, Haz, Mel and alot more other ppl.. But over there..... Who do i run to? Its all very painful... And to imagine myself living my whole life among friends without extended family around.... Friends are very important to me... And to let go is very hard.... But im sure even tho were far apart, i will never forget each and evryone of you who i call my friend....

Evryone of you made me who i am today... And the "energy" that u guys have given to me will be the one that helps me pull through during my both down and up's in this journey call life.... Thanks for evry single thing you guys... Thakns for the suport, strength and love... I dunno what else to say, tears are starting to build up already...

To all, in alphabetical order, Ali, Aimi, Ajib, Amal, Baby Faye, Fadz, Fae, Faez, Hafiz, Hazz, Kashful, Mash, Mel, Rey, Saf and Yani... Thanks u all for coming... Thanks for the sweet letters and gifts.... That will be the source of inspiration for me to go through my years in KL... Thank you from the deepest bottemest part of my heart....

Gonna miss u all sOoOoOoO much.... Lotz of Love, Hugz and Kisses

Current Mood: Sad... ='(

Last day as a Lawyer in the making...

2005-06-17T20:02:00.000+08:00

Today, my last day of work at the law firm.. Gosh i am so gonna miss the going to court days, the wearing all black due to court purposes, the research on criminal cases, the meeting with clients to check out whats d problem... Seeing the accused at court with his monotonous facial expression... Holding the drugs.. And ofcourse i will especially miss the income.. hehe..

Well im gonna miss basically everything.. I am so gonna miss the feel of actually being in the lawyering business... Also im so gonna miss my supervisor.. She's one very nice lady, very fun and educative really... Erm i wont really miss the other workmates tho (theyre kynda ambung), only the really really really cute guy dat whose the office boy/ accountant.... *drool* *happy sigh*

Anyway... leaving the firm made me feel abit sad... It was a really great experience for me.. It gave me a taste of how it is gonna be if i were to be a lawyer... But then again im not taking law... Its not that i dont want to, i really do but theres TOO many complications for me.. The uni dat im going to, Singapore does not recognise their law degree, in Malaysia only malaysians or permanent residents can practice law, and my only other options is to practice in Brunei... But i dunno if in 4 years time my family is still gonna be here... So then i decided to just settle with Psychology which is as demanding but less complicated.... *sigh* the price to pay for not living in your own country.. but neverthe less im proud to me a Singaporean thats "Bruneianized"... hehehe...

But yeah all im saying is dat im glad i was given the taste of experienceing lawyering work n it was soooo much fun and i enjoyed every single bit of it.... Oh yeah im gonna miss my Boss too... He is one great lawyer, with great brains, nice heart and serious shit level of charisma... He's not like those scary looking lawyers, he's really small sized, very "cute"... But had a seriously big heart... Im gonna miss all that...

* Gosh 8 days and counting.. I still havent started packing *

Current Mood : *in a daze still*

Hear Ye Hear Ye!

2005-06-15T16:36:00.000+08:00

My Farewell Gathering is this Sunday 19th June 2005 at Aneka Rasa Reataurant, d one at Kiulap, at 3pm.. Since there wont be any airport sending u ppl MUST come coz that may be the last time im able to see you (vise versa) before i leave... To those who read this and will come PLEASE tag coz i need to know how many will be coming for reservation purposes... MUST COME AHH!!! If not i will sooooo CRY!!! hehe...

*mwahzz*

*9 days and counting*

OmiGosH...

2005-06-15T10:59:00.000+08:00

TEN DAYS TO GO!!!!

OMG!! Im freaking out!! I have 10 more days over here before i leave... Will i be able to see all my dearest-est friends before i leave? i still owe quite alot of people a "one on one" date... My gathering is not yet confirmed BUT keep sunday afternoon open for me coz its 70% confirmed that in gonna have it on that day.. SO KEEP THAT DAY OPEN FOR ME OR ELSE I WILL CRY IF U CANT COME!!

Gosh im freaking out.. What is going to hapen within this 10 days? I know im gonna have another breakdown.. But when?? Gosh.. Do i have everything ready?? Am i ready?? I havent even packed a single thing yet coz believe it or not i dont feel like it... Maybe i am not as ready as i think i am.... Things havent really sink in.. Maybe i dont want it to sink in.. Maybe deep in my heart im not ready to leave home.. Not ready to leave my family.... AaaAaaAaaAaHhHhHhHhHhHh....

This is not even half of the things thats going through my mind... Its only like 20% of it.... Help me!!!! Like what Faez said.. "Were all babies in an adult body" i see some truth in that... Even tho we say that we want to be independent, have our freedom, bla bla bla... Deep inside our heart (at this stage of life) we still need our parents... We just need them to be there for us and without them we're slightly loss or more completely lost... Gosh i feel like in still 10.... To those who is REALLY attached to ur family and had gone through this PWWEEZZEE tell me how to handle this...

* I want my mummy * (seriously)

* 10 days and counting *

Background Music...

2005-06-14T15:34:00.000+08:00

To those of you who have their speaker on when opening my blog will notice that theres a song playing in the background... Its a lil new edition to the blog... And since im in a very "jiwang" mood... Thats the reason why this particular song became my "pick of the ermmm moment"... So enjoyy..

* 11 days and counting*

*in a daze*

My day at the hospital....

2005-06-13T15:44:00.000+08:00

I have been running around for the past few days here and there... But the whole day of my past saturday i spent it at the hospital... I had to go for a full medical check up required by the Uni im going to... But the whole part of the medical check up was pretty hectic.. First i was all alone doing the whole thing from the start coz my parents both n annoying because they have NEVER seen the medical form from the uni i was going to they made a BIG fuss abt it... First [at the registration place] they said i cant do it (the medical) here coz im not local n im not sent by Brunei to the University in malaysia.. They told me to do it in malaysia.. i was like WTF??!! Its one of the requirement that i have my medical check up before i go there... so i *kaboom* and said that its the requirement from there and i'v lived all my life here in brunei, my parens work here with the government and i had my education here.. Then they were like "tunggu kajap ahh kami check lagi"... -waited- then they called me and said "ani kalau kan buat di sini mesti ber bayar nie sebab kau bukan oarng brunei" (said in a reluctant to do it here manner).. Then i asked berapa, bla bla bla... So i did.. Thank god i had quite abit of cash that time...

So then i was running around alone at the hospital... had x-rays, drug test, blood test... Gosh if it wasnt for the cure friendly guy who took my blood test i wud be freakin out... chit chatting wif him when he took my blood made me more relaxed.. But gosh 4 freakin "test tube" like bottles.. dats alot!! then there is the ear n eye test.. The eye test which i was quite shocked coz i couldnt read the freakin lines.. my right eye eas consideren normal (i think) but my left eye managed to get only the first three lines.. then i realized that i may need glasses!!! I was right, they wanted to schedule an appointment for me but i said i was leaving, they told me to get my eye checked at the optic sop.. Gosh hahaha.. Me wearing glasses?!?!?! hahahahaha... Unbelievable!!!

Well basically it was a pretty exciting experience... its was kynda strange coz i had to do it on my own.. it was pretty cool.. a pretty good independent feeling.. hehe... BTW dont be shocked if the next time u see me, i have glasses on! *hahahahaha* I so cant imagine myself waring glasses.. *hahahaha*

*laughs hysterically and fall rolling on the floor*

Why no one can send me to the airport...

2005-06-10T16:09:00.000+08:00

Ppl kept asking why they cannot send me to the airport n ada jua yg memajal want to send me to the airport... hehe jgn terasa Mash! keke.. Well the reason how my wish came true and why people cannot send me to the airport regardless what they way n how bad they want it is because *drum rolls*.... Its because my cuz, aunt and uncles are coming from Singapore end of this month and theyre leaving back to Singapore via Miri...

Me, im supposed to go to malaysia one week before my registration date which is on the 28th of June but since my cuzz n all are coming here i had to postpone (indakan kan tinggal kan diorang) until they leave which is on the 25th of June, so due to the limited time span between them leaving and me leaving (coz we have to send them to Miri), d family decided that we depart from there coz if not there wud me more hassle n all....

So that is why no airport sending for me... Thank god! Coz i cant stand goodbyes at the airport.. And thats why im planning a gathering for everyone (i hope)... So this is the "unavoidable" reason to why no one can send me to the airport...

** 15 days and counting **

Only problem now is... How do i make a gathering for everyone before i leave without using ALOT of money?!?! Suggestions are very welcomed... hehe...

"Long Awaited"

2005-06-07T14:07:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Singapore yesterday and here i am posting up the "Long Awaited" post.. I figured this is the supposedly fastest way to "notify" my friends about whats happening to me.. so here it is... Im accepted to the International Islamic University Malaysia at KL and im leaving to Malaysia in about 2 weeks time... Im days excited but yet apologies for the very short notice... Sorry for not telling u guys earlier coz i had to make sure and know the excact date i'l be leaving before i make any ammouncements... So yeah Billy will be leaving soon... VERY SOON!

Like some of u know i'v always said that no one is suppose to send me to the airport because i cant stand to say goodbye n all that shit... so now no one can send me to the airport no matter what u say or do coz i have a very valid reason for u not to do so... Basically my wish of not allowing ANY of my frens to send me to the airport came true.. I can afford to go through the emotional turmoil of saying good bye.... Me being the sensitive person i will really flood the entire airport... So basically to all u who i havent called personally to tell this im very sorry and will try to call... To u guys who wants to call me, im sure u have my number and my phone line is open for u all...

Gosh i'l be leaving in about 2 weeks time and i have so much to do, so many ppl to see... i'l try my best to come up with a place n time for a gathering with all u ppl before i leave... Will try my very best....

Love u guys...

Current Mood: Mixtures of multiple emotions....

Announcement...

2005-05-26T10:43:00.001+08:00

Just as a general short announcement... Billyee will be goin to Singapore this weekend, Sunday 29th May... Nope she's not goin to Spore to further her studies, just goin back for a week to get some things done and do so some family visits before she sets foot to leave again.. hehe.. Will b there for a week or so... and when i return from Spore the "Long Awaited" post (some of u might know abt this from earlier post)will be posted up... So in the mean time have fun in Brunei while i have fun in Singapore!! hahaha...

Current mood : Billyee Jahat! hehehe

Expected question...

2005-05-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

I was having a conversation with an old friend that i havent talked to for ages.. So after the initial update each other in brief she pops the question "are you still single?" i laughed knowing that, that question will sooner or later pop up.. So i answered what is asked which is "yes" du-uh.. She then said, "lucky you coz u dont have to go through those emotional roller of being with a guy".. Upon seeing this (we were chatting via MSN) i laughed and looked back on my past year that i have been single... "not goin through an emotional roller coaster" is such an understatement! I sure did go through ALOT of emotional roller coaster being single... My heart had gotten "hurt" more than once and had "hurt" more than one heart throughout... So i came to realize that whether ur single or attached u are sure to go through this emotional roller coaster phenomenon...

I mean once ur single u will have to go through the "gettin over ur partner phase" and i tell you, for me i took quite a while to get over him... After gettin over the guy other things will be the reason for the emotional turmoil... First i suppose the feeling of "loneliness" and all that shit will be one of the reason.. But heyy with or without a partner one could stil feel lonely... Its a matter of coping and handling it... So then, for me after all the "mending my heart" i went through some really excruciating experiences... One that involves a double triangle, two abt limited time a few more that does not fall into any specific category...

So all im saying is that, single life does not mean that u'l b lonely at all times, looking back on what i went through, it sure waznt lonely... But all in all, i believe that everything happens for a reason and you dont have to rush when it comes to finding a partner... Me being the typical person i am... still searching, not rushing ,to find the right one... hehehe...

So unfair!!

2005-05-20T22:16:00.000+08:00

I was bored and decided to take some test on emode so then after asnwering a few test i came accross "Whats your Cinderella's story?" So i clicked and the first few questions were pretty decent untill one question... "Best fairy tale heroine?" Choices are Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Mother Goose.... See the obvious ufairness with that questio?!?! Theres no Belle from Beauty and The Beast... Believe it! i mean compared to sleeping beauty or snow white, Belle is like a true heroine in disney's princess... I mean Belle stands next to Mulan who is really a fairy tale heroine... Gosh some ppl dunno their disney characters! I bet Shamand Ali knows more abt Disney's Princess more than this emode ppl...

So just saying that Belle from Disney;s Beauty and The Beast is d best but credits for Disney's heroine goes to Mulan....

*jobless*

Once again....

2005-05-20T16:44:00.000+08:00

Call me sexist, a chauvinist, whatever u wish... But im still gonna do what i wanna do... Plus it wud be a crime, a serious offence to deprive evryone or atleast the ppl who reads my unknown blog from having a good laugh... Seriously! Theyre not just hilarious theyre also cute... Believe me im not lying coz im under oath (haha).. So yeah enjoy!!

This is what hapens when the child is taken care by / is in the hands of the DAD!!!! (dum dum dum)

And the best ones yet......

Told ya u'd have a good laugh!!*LOL*

What and Who...

2005-05-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

"What we are will never change but who we are will always change "

A quote from yesterday's CSI (Crime Scene Investigation)... This quote triggered some thoughts... What we are is defined by our genes, chromosome, blood and all those things... but who we are has nothing to do with that... At some point i agree that "what we are will never change but who we are will always do" coz our chromosomes will never change but our character, our behaviour, how we think, all that will change and will always be changing... Theres no doubt in that... The other thing that got triggered from this mind called mine is that what we are makes who we are... Stay with me here... I mean our chromosomes, our genes is interrelated to who we are... Take general skin clour black and white... Its something we cant change and so because of our skin colour we will be treated differently which will lead to us developing our own perception and views of life... Take me and my experience for example... Recalling my first few years im primary school... I was "discriminated" coz i was dark (org burnei fair kali ahh) so i became the victim of bullies and all that sort... then i meet with this girl who was my first ever friend at P.G.G.M.B... Its Nur... yeah that white "orang putih mix" Nuradina a.k.a Nur... She was also a victim of bullies and discrimination coz she was white, i mean white... So we were both each other's first friend.... Now to the point... If it werent for my dark skin and her white skin we wdnt be discriminated and we wont know how it feels to be bullied, left out and hurt by that kind of thing... so because of that, it made me who i am today... Im sure if i wasnt a victim of bullies and being left out i wouldnt be as strong as i am today... So to my ex-bullies i thank you for that... So as i was saying (hope whoever is reading gets what i mean) what we are shapes who we are... In one way or another who we are will somehow be determined by what we are...

Hope its not too confusing to understand.... :)

One more of those "Sexist" type post

2005-05-16T11:24:00.000+08:00

Once again its those copy paste sexist bulletin about guys... When reading this i was laughing my head off nodding to the undisputed facts athat was presented infront of me...

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMEN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE & so hard to please!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't, they say u are hiding something about them.....

Jangan marah!! hehe...

Im in the wrong...

2005-05-13T20:03:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through files that I know I should have not... Clicking on things and seeing things that I know would somehow have an effect me... A somehow negative effect on me... But me being the stubborn curious person I am... I still went through it, see it and read on... I thought I wont feel anything or at least I could avoid feeling anything, dismissing anything, any sort of feeling that came to me... but I guess I was wrong... I felt something I thought I had dismissed and left long ago... I guess u still have than impact on me that I somehow cant I ignore, cant dismiss it, even if I try hard... Dont ask me why this is so because I myself dont have the answer... Its something I cant fathom myself... The feeling is very unfamiliar, undefinable, indescribable, inexpressible but it has always been present since then, since that day, that time...

If you think I've forgotten about you,
Youre wrong coz i still remember...

If you think I've thrown it all away,
Youre wrong coz i still keep it...

If you think i hate you,
Youre wrong coz i still care...

Even if you dont,
Im still missing you...

Even if youre not,
Im still thinking of you...

Even If youve forgotten,
I still remember...

All that im saying is that I guess untill then you will always linger in my mind, being a part of me, especially when i take some of the major decisions in my life....

" The day you slipped away was the day i found it wont be the same" - Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne

Update

2005-05-12T09:51:00.000+08:00

Editing my new layout which i have started to fall in love with I looked back at the days when I first changed my blogspot layout to the "I Dream" layout and I remember how I was so lost with the HTML code and the Queen of HTML MeLhelped me out with understanding what certain symbols means... But now after changing my layout a couple of times I think im finally getting hold of these HTML stuff... Its pretty simple once u know what it means... Not as simple but I guess I can pretty much handle it... Since I am satisfied with my current blog I dont think im gonna change to a new one anytime soon... Maybe I will add a lil this and that here and there but nothing drastic I may say... Hehehe...

Now onto a lil bit updating on whats goin on in my life... Well... *thinks hard* ... nothing much as been goin on... My car is still undergoing repairing coz theyre changing the parts to new parts which just arrived... New workplace is cool... Not really heavy boring workload, internet connection, fun supervisor, and a cute guy as a colleague sure adds as a bonus point for the work place... hehe....

"Love Life" still the same... Not boring but not as exciting (whatever dat means *hehe*)... "Friendship Life" now dats something to comment about... I realize that now I don’t hang out with my frens as much as I used to... I after all the ish after the A-Level result comes out all of us have gone to doing our own thing... I dunno about them but I certainly dont hang out as much with my frens anymore... I assume, maybe were practicing... Practice on how to cope w/out our frens when we leave to another country for further studies... But yeah I just wanna tell everyone, although I don’t see you often, dont call, msg or miss call that dznt mean that I'v forgotten about you and im not missing you... So to everybody I miss you guys wherever u guys are...

Mood : Missing all of you...

New Layout [again] hehe

2005-05-11T14:54:00.000+08:00

Whoops... Another change of layout... Sorry wah but the Teddy Bear isnt really my cup of tea.. And my old layout server cant be fixed... So after days of finding the "right one" that is compatiable with me i found this one and after editing n all that... This is the comeout.. Lets hope my layout server wont be down again and hope dat i wont get bored n change my layout again anymore anytime soon... Hope u guys like the new layout... Chiowzz...

Very Indirect Teasing Approach

2005-05-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

My fren the other day wrote me a testimonail... First im like hmm what kind of a testimonial is this (you'l see why later as u read on) coz its not abt me n all that... Then after a while it clicked me why he gave me that.. Coz everytime we meet n he ask if i have a boy friend already i keep saying "Im waiting for The One, the Perfect Guy".... So i guess this is a way of him to tease me about it.... This is the testimonal he gave me....

It's really not difficult....
To make a woman happy.... A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a designer
14. a stylist
15. a psychologist
16. a pest exterminator
17. a psychiatrist
18. a healer
19. a doctor
20. a nurse

Also....

21. a good listener
22. an organizer
23. a good father
24. very clean
25. sympathetic
26. athletic
27. warm
28. attentive
29. gallant
30. intelligent
31. funny
32. creative
33. tender
34. strong
35. understanding
36. tolerant
37. prudent
38. ambitious
39. capable
40. courageous
41. determined
42. true
43. dependable
44. passionate
45. honest

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO
46. give her compliments regularly
47. love shopping
48. be honest
49. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls WITH INTENTIONS

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUSTALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, so that she can be herself

So i guess from now i cant really use that "Waiting for the Perfect Guy" line anymore coz from this list how am i suppose to ever find the "Perfect Guy".. So since i can never find Mr. Perfect i guess with this list i can use it as a "guideline" to the characters of what a guy should atleast have to be close to being Mr. Perfect for me.... hahahaha... Like what the first line of the testimonial said "Its Really Not Diffficult" kekekeke....

Guy - Girl Differences

2005-05-04T14:39:00.000+08:00

I dont know why im in this supposedly "sexist" -insulting-in-a-laughing-kind-of-way mood but I just happen to be.... Hehehe.... Read on....

GIRL

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a girl looks down,
It means she’s uncomfortable.

When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after afew seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says "I love you",
She means it (in most cases compared to guys).

When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a GIRL says "I miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

When a GIRL is jealous about other people seeing you more than she does,
its because she loves you and misses you so much.

When a GIRL is quiet
Millions of things are running in her mind.

GUYS

When a GUY is quiet
He is just sleepy and bored.

When a GUY is not arguing
He is in good mood.

When a GUY looks at u with eyes full of questions
He is wondering why u love him.

When a GUY answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds
He actually means it.

When a GUY stares at you
He obviously has nothing else to stare at.

When a GUY lays on your chest
He hopes he can feel the things on ur chest that is supporting him.

When a GUY calls you everyday
He is just lonely.

When a GUY wants to see you everyday
He just wants to make sure that ur not cheating on him.

When a GUY sms's u everyday
He expects you to reply at least once.

When a GUY says I love you
He is just fooling around, unless he actually means it.

When a GUY says that he can't live without you
Then there is something wrong with his brain.

When a GUY says "i miss you"
He wants to see ur face again just in case he is going to die soon.

Hahahahaha.. Just as a general information.... I copied this thing.... I havent developed such sexist thoughts yet to create one of these on my own.... Peace Not War.... (LOL)

Unleashed

2005-05-02T15:22:00.000+08:00

Its gettin kynda very irritating that some people are just so self centered and at times very inconsiderate and insensitive... Its just so frustrating that with these kynd of ppl, we have to be careful with their feelings but when it comes to our part of the share they act like they just dont care at all... To be categorised as "these people" one usually have the character in them ---> possessiveness, jealousness & ego.... So because i am a gurl writing this post, its obvious that "these people" that i mean are from my opposite sex which is the male. Im not really trying to pin point anybody, just writing as a general issue that crossed my mind when i ws about to go to sleep last night... Just leashing out my point of view... hehe... So back to the isssue... I wander why some guys could be very possessive about their going to be partner or fling, (not gonna include partner coz yeah i guess they have the right to be possessive but not too possessive :p ) voicing out that they dont like it when the gurl do this, when the gurl do dat bla bla bla... But when it comes to us girls not liking what they do... hmmph.. they cdnt care less... Either the really dont give a daym or they do care but couldnt be bothered... Well some of them dont really voice it out but just hinted and the discontent could he heard by the tone of their voice n all that... But then when we give them hints dat we dont really approve of what they wanna do its either they as hard as rock and really dont get it or they pretend to not get it making them able to play dumb and go ahead with what they wanna do... Its really frustrating that ther erm "relationship" is not a two way thing... We avoid doing things that they dont like, but they avoid hearing or understanding the things that we dont like... Not goin through extremes but in a mediocre kind of way... I mean it wud be so unfair to mention implying the extremes... hehe... Yeah another thing that me n my gurlfriends have encountered... GUYS DONT GET HINTS… Its true… Okay it wud be an exaggeration to say that that don’t get ANY of the hints but they usually fails to get it in most cases... On a more personal level, i could say that some guys really dont get hints, seriously.. I mean at home, im living with a guy dat doesnt grasp hints easily... My own brother unfortunately falls into this category although once again not to extremes... So yeah... As a dedicated sister im trying to teach him the skill of grasping hints... hehe...

Im sure most gurls wud agree with me but most or maybe all guys wud strongly disagree with me... But heyy this is my blog so im allowed to say whatever i wanna say when i wanna say it... Disagree if you want to but my train of thoughts has been unleashed... hahaha...

For d guys --> Here's something to cool down your burning anger (haha)
For gurls --> Have a good laugh

WORDS WOMEN USE
******************

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint ! Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

--- Peace --- Hehehe...

Change of the Wind

2005-04-29T09:28:00.000+08:00

Hmm i was complaining to some ppl d other day that last week has been one heck of a week for me... My blog server for the "When i Dream" layout is still down, my car in the accident, some other ish dat has been happening and bothering me... But yesterday the wind made a drastic change and my day was as bright as ever... Maybe God wanted me to feel the erm cycle of life, that everything hapen for a reason and if there's darkness there's light later on... Yesterdat God gave me somthing that surpasses the sadness that i have been feeling all week long since last week... It was something long awaited and finally the excitement and joy of it if felt... Not just for me but for my whole family who had been sorta in distress with what has been going on since last week... Curious to know what this big thing is??

Nope its not about me being with a certain someone...
Nope its not about me finally meeting my "Beast" (Beauty and the Beast)...
Nope its not about that certain prince charming that asked me to watch Disney On Ice...
Nope its not that my family suddenly inherited millions of dollars....

Then what issit about?? Well................... Its... Its... Its... Its... Its... Its...Its about............
Im not telling it right now... *evil grin* It will be declared to the whole wide world soon, just not right now yet... So once again bear with me... hehe.. But one thing for sure its something good for you and for me... *sings* Heal the world make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race... there are poeple dying making out a living, make it a better place for you and for meeeee.... *oOpZ* got carried out over there.. hehe... Just wait for the upcoming post that will most probably be titled as "Long Awaited"....

*sMiLe*

Temporary Layout

2005-04-27T16:31:00.000+08:00

The undeniable fact that blog layout server is down and is not yet being fixed by the person who created the layout is really getting on my nerves... So i decided to have a temporary layout and wait till the original layout is okay again... So bear with the changes... :)

Oh one more thing...

2005-04-26T09:48:00.000+08:00

The fact dat my blog server is down... Its getting really iritating and annoying... Hope they'l fix it soon.... I mean to read my blogpost is a hassle by its own already....

*sorry for the inconvenience*

Series of Unavoidable "ish"....

2005-04-26T09:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was one heck of a day... Believe me... Fed up with all the ish that happened during the "am" period of time... With me being kusut already due to trouble in reaching dat certain someone.. To the ish durnig lunch and all other things that made me go extrmly kusut...

Then in the "pm" when im about to go home.. I recieved a call from daddy's friends saying dat he's gonna pick me up from work... I was like "why?? Isnt my driver picking me up?" He said " Your driver cant pick you up because he is in an accident *laughing*" At first i thought he was joking coz he is one heck of a joker but turns out, it was true... *shockingly true* My driver was in a accident, driving my not-yet-one-month-old Toyota Vios... Mixed emotions overcome me... Worried about the car, the driver, mum's feeling (coz she was the one who bought the car) n all other ish dats inter-related...

To cut story short, driver was okay... Car, the front badly damaged... hmm.... Basically my driver wasnt the one whose in fault... The other driver was coming out of a junction/simpang nearby the shell at Jalan Tutong... Without looking left or right (i suppose) the guy went out of the junction and my driver unable to avoid the sudden movement of the car...

*KaBoOM* *cRaSh* *ScReEcH*

So called police, make a reaport... Car got towed.... Statement at police station bla bla bla... Whatever whatever at insurance company bla bla bla.... So now the car is at the workshop, have to settle some matters with the insurance company... AND I DONT HAVE MY CAR!!!! Daddy said if the guy pleads guilty we can bet the car repaired soon but if he dznt... Hmmm.. A whole lot of other ish....

Yesterday was a day i'd call "Monday Mishaps" or like the title "Series of Unavoidable Ish"

**cries at the thought of the damaged car**

---> I need a hug *sad face* <---

O-oh

2005-04-25T08:28:00.000+08:00

~~~ O-oh ~~~

O-oh i think the blog layout is having a problem again... Guess the web server is down... Hope they'l fix it soon.. If not i'l have to go "web layout hunting" and find a layout that i like and i'l have to go through alot of hassle to edit n re-edit the layout, and i tell you, thats the hardest part of all... Hmmm.... Anyway its too early in the morning to crack soemthing up and update this blog... Maybe later... *yawn*

Situation out of hand...

2005-04-19T13:55:00.000+08:00

Falling so deeply.....
Yet not really.....

Wanting so much.....
Yet not wanting any.....

Missing so crazily.....
Yet not exactly.....

Finding you irresistible.....
Positive certainty.....

Thinking of you constantly.....
Totally and absolutely.....

Call me in love??
I suppose its only a maybe.....

Mini Poll..

2005-04-15T16:51:00.000+08:00

Oh one more thing... Seeing that my blog is kynda dull... I decided to add a Mini Poll... Its situated under the tagboard.. So feel free to vote yeah.. Erm viewers participance is highly appreciated... Hehehe..

Mucho Love! :)

New work place... New Car... Hehe...

2005-04-15T16:35:00.000+08:00

Starting at the new work place is A LOT of fun.. This is what I can imagine myself doing in the future… Handling criminal cases… Its soooo much fun.. Im currently erm “handling” a drug n theft case… And possibly a rape case soon…. Its just a normal rape case but If it was a serial rapist case it wud give me insights on what goes through their mind coz as some of you know I want to be a erm part time Serial Killer / Rapist… Hehe.. yeah who wud’v known this sweet angelic looking young lady, deep down inside her heart has a burning evil desire just waiting to lurch out.. hahahahahahaha…

Anyway.. going to court is no more dull... Seeing the defendant being handcuffed surrounded by police… Seeing and holding syabu in front of my eyes is so much more exciting than seeing those cases that deals with debts n all…

Hmm my car is doin well…. Been driving it here and there… but I tell you, manual is not easy to master… In still learning anyhow… If youre asking “Why manual” well its for future purposes… Coz IF im gonna be in Singapore I may need to drive manual coz the prices of cars are WAYYYYYYYY expensive than over here… So most of my relatives there drives manual car.. I mean imagine, buying one car in Singapore, u can buy 3 cars in Brunei… Yup its DAT expensive…

Anyway… dats all for now… Currently at work waiting to go back.. Adioz!

Monday fiesta...

2005-04-10T21:00:00.000+08:00

So like i blogged the other day.. I said alot of things is happening this monday (tomorrow)... Me gettin a new job.. N me getting my own car... Yupp my own car... Well its gonna be labelled "mine" untill i fly off to who knows where... So till then its gonna be MINE!! What car is it?? Well..... Its not as poshy as Ali's Lexus or as luxurious as Haz's Benz.. Its just something casual.. But dat dont matter to me.. As long as i can drive n even temporarily gonna me labelled mine, and even though its not the colour that I want, im fine with it... Atleast i have a car... Hehe... So what is the car?? Dun wanna say it out loud yet... Some hints... Some obvious hints.. Although not as poshy, classy or luxurious, its definately Toxic and it will definately "hit you one more time"... Toxic.. Hit one more time.. Hmm... Tell me what does dat reminds u of? Got it already?? Hehe.. Okay okay its a..... *drum roll* a Toyota Vios... Yup dats it... Colour? Its erm peach metallic.. Not exactly the colour that i want but heyy its not such a bad colour... So im okay wif it...
Only thing is dat its manual... *gasp* yup manual... Its better for me coz its erm "playin safe" for future reference... Coz if i were to go back to Singapore most of the cars that my family have is manual... So yeah i have to get use to driving manual... Lisence plate number.. I'l have to get back on that coz its not really confirmed yet.. but definately its not 2611... hmm... so keep a look out.. hehe...

BuMmEr

2005-04-10T16:29:00.000+08:00

Today, this afternoon to be exact, has been one erm how to say.... hmm I wud describe it as one very *bummer* day.. Why? Okay well today was suppose to be one well planned day for me... It was planned dat im gonna go and send Naj off and after that to hang out wif this certain someone.. Do some bitching around coz we needed to catch up wif each other n hang out after such a long time not hanging out, plus it's our "special day" so what a better way to spend it wif that certain someone... Plus adorable Sham as I call him is here and I wud get to see him after such a loooong time... So everything was planned everything went well enough until... *kaboom* Sudden change of plans (and i hate sudden change of plans) and I got ditched... That certain someone was supose to hang out wif me but decided to join the "crowd" and it was a different destination to where i was already... So instead of spending my day as planned, I spent the afternoon wif my parents which I think is better coz getting ditched is not really a good feeling... Banished my feeling of anxiety to hang out anyway... But aborable Sham made me feel better.. Much better.. (you know what you did! and I wuv u for dat).. To you who ditched me after actually inviting me to hang out wif u since like erm a week ago.. You owe me one...

Current Mood : Not mad but menyamal-ing....

Transition.....

2005-04-08T19:35:00.000+08:00

Some of you might not know it but there's a few changes that's happening to me ryt now.. Excluding those related to feelings and emotions, as some of u know I'm working at a law firm that handles company law/commercial law ryt now.. Iv been working there for about a month plus and everything's fine... As some of u might know company law is not my thing.. Im more interested in criminal law or family law... So backtracking a week ago I received an offer to work at another law firm that handles criminal law.. Boy was I excited... So obviously, I took the offer and noticed the firm I was in at that time.. They said fine n supported my erm decision... So.... Today was my last day of work and next week, Monday to be exact, I'l be working at a new law firm at Kiulap that handles criminal law... Im sure this will be more challenging and exciting... To say the least, it will give me insights to the criminal cases that we have here... So wish me luck u all.... :)

Ok... Backtracking to erm last Monday I was assigned by one fo the lawyers to work on a case (yeah only in my last week they gimme a case) that the firm's working on right now.. And after searching n finding the right source.. I set work to find out what could be done , procedures n basically find the answers to the questions that the lawyer wanted me to find.. So with a list of questions and a whole act/chapter of the related issues I set to read it and find the answers *read* and Oh My God! I tell u ahh *in Chinese accent* it was so hard man! What I mean by hard is that it was kynda hard coz for soooooooo long I haven’t read sich heavy material... With law terms n languages .. Gosh... My attention spam and my erm comprehension skills went so low... AND most of the time nothing registered im my mind and I had to read the same paragraph again and again...

Gosh... This is what happens to you when you aint got no skool for sooo long... N doin this research reminds me of the time I had to go through history or socio notes to write an essay.. The only difference is dat what I wrote back than, I get grades for it.. This time what I write domn will be used by the lawyers to carry out their case against the defendant... Sounds like quite a level of responsibility? Uh-uh... But I managed to get it done and the lawyer dat assigned me to do this said it was a good work.. so I gess in the end I did a erm "job well done".. Just hope that they will win the case...

Hmm... So Najee Pooh is leaving huh?? Im gonna SOOOOO MISS YOU gurl!!! Who else is gonna massage me when I have a headache??!?! Waaaaaa..... I want Najee to be my personal massager... Erm Naj skip the scholarship[ and work for me!?!? Pretty please!! Hehehe.. Ok ok too much to ask... Just don't forget me when you meet all the Cute Japanese Hotties (GUYS to be exact) yeah... Send some over here for me yeah! Hehe.... Mucho love.....

----```` TORN ````----

2005-04-02T14:54:00.000+08:00

Its not suppose to happen this way,
Its not suppose to go this way,
Its not suppose to be this way,
Its not suppose to hurt this way,
I realize that i need you more and more each day...

. . . . . .. . . . . .*. . . . . . . ** *
. . . . . . . . . . .*** . . * . . *****
. . . . .. . . . . . .** . . **. . . . .*
. . . . . . . . . . ***.*. . *. . . . .*
. . . . . . . . . .****. . . .** . . . ******
. . .. . . . . . . ***** . . . .**.*. . . . .
. . . . . . . . .*****. . . . . **. . . . . .
. .. . . . . . .*****. . . . . .*. . . . . .
. . . . . . . .******. . . . .*. . . . . *
.. . . . . . . .******* . . .*. . . . .*
. . . . . . . . .*********. . . . . *
. . . . . . . . . .******* . ***
*******. . . . . . . . .**
.*******. . . . . . . . *
. ******. . . . . . . . * *
. .***. . *. . . . . . .**
. . . . . . .*. . . . . *
.. . . . .****.*. . . .*
. . . *******. .*. .*
. . .*******. . . *.
. . .*****. . . . *
. . .**. . . . . .*
. . .*. . . . . . **

Im getting sick of your calls,
Im getting sick of your messages,
Im getting sick of your i miss you's,
Im getting sick of your i need you's,
Im getting sick of your i want you's,
Im getting sick of your i love you's,
Im really getting sick of you..

Im really sick of you
coz i cant be there for you,
coz i cant have you,
coz i cant stay beside you,
coz i cant get enough of you,
coz i cant stop thinking of you,
coz i cant stop missing you...

But the ultimate reason why im sick of you is because.....
I think im falling in love with you.....

Thinking...

2005-03-31T20:11:00.000+08:00

See being bored and jobless at work I came across this book at the library, “The Psychology of Thinking” by Robert Thompson… And reading the first few chapters has already made me think… The process of thinking is not as simple as it seems.. To ask “what is thinking” seems like a very pointless thing to do because as we all know the act of thinking is a form of first hand experience of doing it and to explain the act if thinking is complicated enough by itself…

So I decided to get to my so called “serious” or “educated” side and write something about it based on what I’ve read… Spread the knowledge around… Why not ryt?

So to start off…“To think” can be interpreted in more than one ways.. The use of the word “think / thinking” comes in may form…

To dream, indulge our self in imagining fantasies or day dreaming is an act of imaginative expressions of underlying wishes, needs or wants (its called ‘autistic’ thinking) and its different than to say “I am trying to think when did I last saw him/her”. This act is a direct attempt to recall and describe of what happened… So to dream and to recall is two totally different act of thinking.. Its like to tell someone of your fantasy or dream is different than to tell someone of the details of what exactly happened..

To say “Think of what you’re doing” is a command to take action or pay attention to a certain thing or task.

To say “you are thinking of nothing but pleasure” we are not talking about a persons capacity to reason but instead we are referring to a manner or style of behaviour.

When one say “What do you think about it?” the word “think” here means “believe”… So to ask “what do you think about it?” would require the one asked to think of his beliefs, opinion or views about the matter… And the opinion given would be based on his own knowledge and background… Here to “think about it” requires the individual to “reason out”, to “reflect” and to “ponder”...

Just with this four points and not even a quarter through the book it made me ponder about the act of thinking.. Its not as simple as we think and with obvious reasons to study about it is even harder.. So basically a thinker indulges in many different sorts of work, many different kinds of activity which have little in common with each other…

Interesting aint it? Think about it… hehe.. :)

3 in 1

2005-03-29T19:53:00.000+08:00

Even though I have my driving license about a week already, I have yet to go through another test which was to drive with the whole family in the car judging my driving skills... daym I tell u.... at some point it was harder than the actual test with the officer.. Coz my mum being the paranoid worrier she is cdnt really relax in the car, my dad instructing me on what to do.. saying things like "now u shud be ready to break already" when I am already pressing the brake.. Furthermore my lil bro who Doesn't have a driving license yet also commented on my driving like he knew it all.. and to make things really stressful was that my lil tiny sister also made fuss instructing me to turn left or right... Gosh, imagine a situation where 4 ppl was literally on your back watching and commenting on your every move.. and to make things worse it was raining pretty heavily.. daym I tell you it was really stressful.. At one point I had to shout and ask them (my bro n sis to be exact) to shut up and let my mum n dad ONLY do the talking n commenting.. But in the end it was all okay.. I "passed" the test.. My dad givin me 80% trust already n mummy about erm 60% only.. Well everything is a step by step process ryt...

Hmm... It was nice seeing some of u ppl during the MD's Jumble Sale organized by PYRO (Pioneering Youth Reach Out).. From the erm observation of PYRO's official Public Relations Officer, dats me btw.. the sale was a success.. Congratz to all who made it happened... *applause* basically if I could sum up my week I would say that it was just nice.. not the usual routine of goin to work all the way but making stops to see my dearest frens dat I really miss... THAT made my week... Love you guys.. Missing u peepz aredy..

And to you, the one who came and messed me up.. Challenged the very promise I made to myself.. I dunno what to do with you.. In fact I dunno what to do with myself.. I've warned you so many times before.. Told you time and time again to NOT fall in love with me.. But you had to be stubborn... You should know better than to fall in love with me.. You should know by now that all this is happening too fast and time is just... time.....
You should know by now that it’s not worth it, it’s too short to savour and it’s also too sweet to last… Think back carefully, don’t just say and declare when I'm sure you yourself is unsure...

Vrrrooommmm Vrrrooommmm...

2005-03-21T12:11:00.000+08:00

*Announcement* Ladies and gentleman! Citizens of the world! Today, I Nabilah Ulfah has officially PASSED her DRIVING TEST!!! Yayyyy.. Haha... I had my practical driving test just now... Gosh it was nerve wrecking... Seeing ppl make mistakes.. Being scared for them and at the same time was even more scared for myself... Then after waiting for sooooo long it was my turn to go in... Parking and then the driving.. All went well with some little mistakes here n there.. The balancing n the side parking was a tad bit hard but all n all I PASSED... *Boogeeyyy* So Now I can officially drive... As small as I am, as small as I look I can already legally drive!!! So u ppl out there BEWARE!! Hahahaa... im soooo hyper! Atlast I don’t need a driver to send me here n there.. I can drive by my own... *Just hope I wont b the driver now* But im too excited to care abt all that...

*Happy Happy Joy Joy* *Happy Happy Joy Joy*
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Hmmmmm... hmmmm...

2005-03-20T13:12:00.000+08:00

Something interesting did happen... But i dunno if i shud bw writing it out in the open... hehehe... but yeah something interesting did really happen.. It was something i didnt think would happen to me at this time of the erm "phase" im going through... But then it did happen n theres no stopping it now... All i cud say abt what happened was that im excited abt it coz its not like this erm "opportunity" comes knocking on my door everyday but at the same time... im scared that it happened n flowing the way it is... coz even tho i like the odea of it happening.. some part of me dznt really like the fact that it happened at this period of time when i dont really need it... Its just that it wud have been better if it happened earlier, before and not now when im at one of the intersections of life where making the right decisions is critical ... *sigh*

**You up there, giving me some things to think abt huh??**

[apologies for not saying what exactly it is... maybe later...]

///\\\///\\\BuMMeD\\\///\\\///

Bored & Quizzes

2005-03-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

So today was like any odinary day... Nothing exciting happned... So i have nothing to blog abt n decided to try this quiz out.. So yeah.. based on the qeustions dat i answered this was the result... For me MOST of it is true i guess... I dunno abt u guys tho.. so yah.. Hopefully something interesting hapens so dat i can write abt it.. Chowz! : )

You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Your label is the Nice girl/guy. You tend to care
for others over yourself. However, many people
appreciate your caring side and would rather
stick by you than hurt you. But, there is a
downside. Some tend to abuse your kindness and
take advantage of you. You always try to see
the good in everyone and try not to hate.
Also, you have sharp insight and a great
personality. Calm, serene, and understanding,
you make a worthy friend and a valuble ally to
people in need. Don't change your sweet
nature, your constant being-there can save a
life.

I suggest your go into a field that
centers around working with others such as a
doctor, baby-sitter, psychologist, lifeguard,
or Teacher. If none of these occupations
interest you, it is okay then. I am sure that
there are plenty of oppertunities out there for
you.

What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Good beautiful day... :)

2005-03-10T22:47:00.000+08:00

To start....

And so after a few month of not remembering finally I remembered dat today was my anniversary.. With who?? Who esle but my sayang Fae... It was as surprising coz she remembered it too... I was in d middle of msgn her, composing the msg.. as I was counting the months we've been together suddenly my phone beeps.... Incoming msg.. Open.. it was a msg from Fae wishing me happy anniversaty.. One year and 4 months to be exact.. haha she beat me to that... she said "haa see I remembered" I was like "haha I remembered it too" and so what made the moment more "magical" was dat we both actually remembered dat today is our anniversary after a few months of it actually slipping out from our mind... I think its been erm 3 month since any of us remembered... bet heyy.. today we remembered!! Hehehe... so Happy One Year and 4 mth darlz.... Jeles my ex nie... we didn’t actually go this far! Imagine u, a gurl, my current gf, kalahkan him! Hhahaha... no offence dude, u know who u are... hehehe...

My darlz of one year and 4 month

Another thing dat made today a good day was that I received two surprise calls.. [to make it dramatic] I was buzy typing out some documents on the comp at work suddenly my phone rang... *going under ring tone in the background* looked at the screen, "call" hmm who might this international call be? Picked it up... "Hello" says the other line.. she screamed I screamed (was a controlled scream) excitement... happiness... it was my dearest Yani a.k.a My Chubby from Australia calling.... I was so happy, I cud tell she was too... We talked, exchanged stories, n then hang up... *sigh* dat sure did make my day... Coz I think as much as I missed her, she missed me too....

Then when I thought the day cdnt get better at night [same dramatic storyline n tone] phone rang, ringing tone could be heard only difference * Real tone, I Dream by Taufik in the background* "Sham's Crib" in my mind, hmm baby faye calling... Picked up, a guy's voice came up.. Guess who?? The Aborable Sham!!! Yup he was back for a few hours n gave this little fren of his a call... how sweet.. talked, updated each other, hang up coz he has to get ready to go back aboard...

This day has been a blast... Actually this whole weak so far has been goin well, apart from tag board being down, hopefully nothing will ruin this week for me.. *hopes*

Another thing dat made today a good day was that I received two surprise calls.. [to make it dramatic] I was buzy typing out some documents on the comp at work suddenly my phone rang... *going under ring tone in the background* looked at the screen, "call" hmm who might this international call be? Picked it up... "Hello" says the other line.. she screamed I screamed (was a controlled scream) excitement... happiness... it was my dearest Yani a.k.a My Chubby calling from Australia.... I was so happy, I cud tell she was too... We talked, exchanged stories, n then hang up... *sigh* dat sure did make my day... Coz I think as much as I missed her, she missed me too [i hope! hehe]....

Then when I thought the day cdnt get better at night [same dramatic storyline n tone] phone rang, ringing tone could be heard only difference * Real tone, I Dream by Taufik in the background* "Sham's Crib" in my mind, hmm baby faye calling... Picked up, a guy's voice came up.. Guess who?? The Aborable Sham!!! Yup he was back for a few hours n gave this little fren of his a call... how sweet.. talked, updated each other, hang up coz he has to get ready to go back aboard...

Adorable Sham -->

This day has been a blast... Actually this whole weak so far has been goin well[apart from tag board being down], hopefully nothing will ruin this week for me.. *hopes* :) :)

Nytezz...

Work...

2005-03-04T21:51:00.000+08:00

Gosh i have been so very buzy at work.. gettin files n returning them back.. typing letters, faxing them... doin some reshuffling at the library, paperwork n all that sort.. n just the other week i was whining coz i aint got work... now i got loads!! its been a long tiring week for me... thank god i have Taufik's CD, dat kept me sane n going... plus i havent been goin to court much.. i mean in action at the office but im missing the action at court.. thank god im goin there with one of the lawyers on Tuesday.. *yayy* so at least i get to see some action coz i heard the case is gettin juicy.. so yeah.. erm what else huh? oh yeah now i know how my mum felt when she comes back from work n me n my siblings create chaos... now i know how dat really feels... boy do i get cranky after work... its really a pain when ppl asks u questions, annoying n not so important questions or like my lil sis tellin me abt sumthin dat dznt even make sense, one dat i cdnt care less about... now i know why mummy's cranky after work... i feel u mummy! not gonna whine n make noise when u just got back from work.. plus i'l be to buzy resting anyway.. hehe...

Oh yeah sorry coz I haven’t been hangin out wif u guys nowadays.. To Mel n Fae, sowie for not visiting...

MooD: Cranky after work...

Ending and Beginning...

2005-02-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

Finally everything is done... My application form to National University of Singapore, application to International Islamic University Malaysia and also UBD... Like most ppl who are busy filling in their UCAS form, their scholarship form n all those sh**.. I mean stuffs and documents.. I on the other hand is filling in another totally different kind of forms coz why!?!?! IM NOT LOCAL... so yeah no chance of me getting a scholarship from Brunei (du-uh).. I mean even my UBD form is different, blue in colour.. coz why?!?! IM NOT LOCAL... haha... So from busy getting transcript to references to leaving certs to finally mailing and sending those application.. its finally over... no more application to send... no more hassle to go to school to check my "reason for application" or "personal statements".. Its all over n done with.. although throughout the process there was some "trial and tribulations" some complications n all.. its all over now... BUT when the hassle has ended the waiting begins... Yes, once again like waiting for the A level results, now its waiting for the results from the respective universities... either they accept or rejects... *sigh* waiting is very dreadful... n from what I was told by one of the lawyers I am currently working with, waiting is the theme for lawyers... Part of their life is about waiting... waiting for the trial day... waiting for the client, waiting for the jurisdiction, waiting for the judge to give his say... n the list goes on... gosh... n for me, someone who hates waiting, very dreadful aint it.....

KABOOM!!!!!!!! Hahaha....

The Rabbit and towel issue....

2005-02-26T17:24:00.001+08:00

I was out this morning to do some ish n all.. goin from d dentist to the hospital (don’t ask why).. on the way back I want to Pet Vision to buy some food for my rabbits (I have 3 btw) , I think its called palettes or sumthing... N while lookin around for some pet stuff I came across shampoo for rabbits.. so I was thinking heyy I shud buy this and give my rabbits a bath so that they're fresh and clean.. and so I did... Got home for lunch, relaxed n all... time to give the rabbits a bath and give the new bought shampoo a try... Out I went to get the rabbit... I stopped n think.. hey I wud need a towel for these rabbits n where do I get unwanted towels from coz like most of em are still use-able... So I asked my brother if I can use any of his towels for my rabbits.... I thought of getting rid of his fave towel dat looks worn out.. he said NO! as that is his fave towel.. so he gave me another towel for me to use.. I was shocked as it looks really brand new but not as shocked coz its a MANCHESTER UNITED towel... I insisted dat he gives me the worn out towel but he insist dat I use the MANCHESTER UNITED towel... N so what can I do? It is his towel n its basically his choice... so.... I used the MANCHESTER UNITED towel for my rabbits... the bath turned out okay n now I have clean and fresh rabbits and made a mockery to that football team coz I used their towel for my rabbits... I mean it is a pretty bad mockery.. A worn out fading blue towel Vs a supposedly new MANCHESTER UNITED towel... tsk tsk tsk...

-This entry is dedicated esp to Alee, Ping, Hafiz, Ajib, Reza and all other Manchester united fans-

P/s: To those who feels anger building up due to this entry... This is to notify you that the decision to use the Man U towel was ultimately by Mr GreenNaufal... Peace!

HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE

SNAP!

2005-02-22T19:47:00.000+08:00

My My... A phone can sure make u vain... Only after 2 days of gettin this new phone i have become more vain than i used to.. i mean i am vain, d time i got a digital camera but u know how u cant really drag along ur camera everywhere but with a camera on ur hp.. Gosh.. Feeling bored in the office.. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! Bored in d car... SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! Bored in the room.. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! Bored in the tiolet.. Whoopz... hehehe.. Not to dat extent! hehe.. so yeah i have become more vain that i used to.. I wander if this is just a phase im goin thru coz im excited n still sakai (S'porean's "sakai" tu "jakon") [abit of translation goin on there] coz of the new hp... Hope i dun become as vain as Queen of HTML coz it might lead to me being as kambang ("kambang" tu erm berlagak") as that White Baller dude... hehehe..

Another Shifted Love....

2005-02-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

Oh my God! What isst with me replacing my first love to a new found one?? I mean first with me shifting my love from my Anuar Zain to Taufik Batisah.... Now... From my beloved first love. My nokia 8312 to my new hp nokia 7610... yes I got a new phone.. to those who mutter in ur mouth "FINALLY" yes I have got a new phone..

So yeah I have left the simplicity of my phone to the complexity of the new one... Im still tryin to figure out how to use all the applications.. from contacts to bluetooth to managing the files... using phone memory or d other one.. erm whats it called? Oh yeah the memory card... so yeah... but thank god my brother knows all these stuff coz he's had experience wif these latest technology hp before I ever did... so yeah... but to u ppl who has d same kind of phone n wants to share some info on how to use it (coz im kynda lazy to read the instructions booklet.. hehe) feel free to help me out.. hehe...

Hmm.. looks like im goin thru a phase of shifting from my first love to a new found one.. Only one difference between Anuar Vs Taufik and 8310 Vs 7610 is dat I still feel dat my love for Anuar Zain is stronger but im loving my 7610 more already... hehehe....

Based from these changes who knows I might find the next true real love after this... Not with phones or people from my fantasy.... but from a real life character... daym.. It sounds exciting but erm its more like a scary thought..... terribly scary.... (o-oh)...

<---8310---

Vs

<---7610---

* Hail *

2005-02-20T15:37:00.000+08:00

Special thanks to Melina Jaini a.k.a. Mel a.k.a Mz Shorty a.k.a Cutie Playaz a.k.a QUeen of HTML for helping me out with my links... Gosh i got so frustrated editing the html n stuff.. so daym confusing.. but Queen Mel saved the day.. Thankz darlz! Love u loadz!!! and lastly......

~~ Hail Queen of HTML Mel ~~

New Layout...

2005-02-20T12:24:00.000+08:00

Know wat? i dun think my blog is dat dull anymore... hehehe.. but yeah since its still under construction its not yet perfect.. coz theres something wrong wif it.. the "links section" is not sorted out yet and the "ure personal info here"... dat thing shud be replaced with MY personal info which i still dunno how to work it out... n one most important thing missing... is my aborable picture!!! hehehe.. aitez gonna try to work those "personal info" out.. anyone who knows abt all this html stuff lemme know.. (LEND ME A HAND HERE PPL!) coz im as blurr as d dummies who needs to use "HTML for dummies" book.. aite then.. chiow! enjoy the new layout! :)

P/s: Beat that Ali (the guy who think his blog is d coolest) hahaha... still sayang u tho... hehe...

I didnt think this day will ever come....

2005-02-19T19:36:00.000+08:00

~~ I didnt think this day will ever come.... ~~

Oh my god!! I am so gonna be curang to my only love... Im falling in love with another guy... Im not loyal to my Anuar Zain anymore.. Im falling for another guy!! Can u guys believe it?? Im falling for another guy... Anuar Zain is not my only love anymore.. gosh I didn’t think dis day will ever come.. I mean I thought wud always be the one to stick to my Anuar Zain.. but I guess now theres gonna be some competition... Oh man! This is unbelievable.. Wud u guys even believe dat this day will come? Me falling for another guy?? Its unexpected but true... People! Believe it or not I have fallen for another guy...

Some of you might have been waiting for this moment where I find another love coz u might be sick of me n my Anuar Zain's relationship.. But I hope there are some of you who feel dat I shud just stick to my Anuar Zain.... Curious to know who this guy is?

Before I go on to tell who this guy is.. Some description.. he's young... (younger than Anuar Zain).. hes cute, hot and adorable... he's erm sweet... he got really gorgeous eyes and gorgeous eye brow... he has a sweet smile... he's the second guy dat has captivated me next to Anuar.... he has cute cheek bones too... *drool*

He is.... *drum roll* Taufik Batisah... Winner of Singapore Idol... Yes yes I can see u guys with a blank face.. in ur head who is he?? *its not MY fault dat Singapore's artist is not famous here in Brunei* Well he is the first ever winner of Singapore Idol... He in the finals competed with a Chinese, Sylvester... They were the two Singapore Idol finalist... but in the end he won with votes about I think 70% to 30%... His voice is daym good... Like Anuar's his voice is melting material.... Dats basically it.. His album will be in my hand by tomorrow so I will be able to really hear his voice n compare it to my Anuar's voice...

So yes.. I am falling for another guy.. I thought Anuar is my ultimate love but guess dats changing... *bwoh me player* what to do.... hehe..

To my dearest Anuar Zain, I will always love you.. But im afraid theres gonna be some changes... Im sorry... But I still love u more!! Dats for sure!

To the newcomer Taufik... U gotta work ur ass off to make me love u as much as my love for Anuar... But yeah I can see the light for us...

-Hope u guys enjoy this edition of my blog-
Esp to Fae: Tu lah nak suruh me update sangat.. nah! Hehe...

----Anuar Zain---->

VS

----Taufik Batisah---->

Sunday then Tuesday...

2005-02-16T23:01:00.000+08:00

Sunday 13th February 2005 was one of the saddest moment of my life... one of my best friend left me... left me to persue her dreams... She was one of the greatest most best-est friend.. Her name's Yani btw... So yeah she left to Aussie.. sending her off to d airport was hard n receiving d last hug was painful... i dunno when im gonna see her again.. with me probably being overseas too.. n the fact dat i might even go back to Singapore for good n not being able to see her n my other frens are just too painful... guess this is price i have to pay for being brought up in a country dats not ur home country...

*sigh* one down alot more to go... god thinking of it gives me the shivers... i hate good byes... "bye" is not good... *sigh* Letting go of ur friends are sometimes harder than gettin over an ex...

okay.. on a more erm happier level.. Tuesday 15th, it was my first day of work at d law firm.. d ppl were nice n all.. n guess wat? i get to go to the court.. it was daym cool and exciting.... man was i thrilled.. been goin there everyday.. but its sometimes boring or annoying coz i dunno everything that the judge or the lawyer is talking abt.. i mean those terms n shit... but its kynda fun... but its not as fancy as what we see on tv... and as usual tiring at the end of the day...

dats basically it... be posting up stuff when i feel like it... chowz!

Thunderstorm...

2005-02-02T14:56:00.000+08:00

The sun is setting,
But the sky is still high,
I wish I cud get rid of these feeling,
With reasons only I know why...

As the sky turns dark,
I know a storm is coming,
Not long after that,
There was thunder and lightning ...

How I wish I was the thunderstorm
That could scream, shout and let it all out,
Throwing deadly lights into the dark sky,
And scream into the silent night...

But I know that wishes don’t always come true,
So I resort myself to my solitude,
I know there's sunshine after d rain,
For now all I can do is hope and pray,
So that I can be strong enough to see d light again after this stormy day...

Dreadful

2005-02-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

The dreadful day has arrived... n yup it was dreadful alryt... im talkin abt d results bein out.. it was dreadful and disappointing for me... it wasnt what i expected... so yeah.. but after tears, screams and frustration i have accepted d fact dat my results arent gonna change n theres nothing dat can make it change... well apologies to u guys for not attending d dinner.. i waznt in d mood.. didnt feel like celebrating... my grades werent worth celebrating.. so yeah didnt do.. but i didnt sulk at home either.. i just numbed myself.... erm dun wanna go rambling on... to d peeps who did great, congratz n im happy for u guys.. to those whose sufferinf from "depressed syndrome" better luck next time (when ever dat time is) n good luck to all, those applying for uni's, applying for scholarships, even to those who are repeating... nitezz...

o-oh

2005-01-26T14:28:00.000+08:00

O-OH! one more day.. one more day... im freaking out... tomorrow is da day dat d A level result is expected to come out... god! i am sooo freaking out... y? its coz i kept thinking on how i did when i was sitting for those papers.. how i did for socio, for elt n yes for history too.. but d thing dats totally freaking me out is dat i cant even seem to rememer what the questions were for my essays.. so if i cant even rememeber d questions asked or its main theme or watever.. how am i suppose to rememer if i did well or not! AAAAHHHHHHH!! i mean seriously! i have no idea of whats to come.. but i guess theres nothing dat i can do now.. except maybe freak out!! hahaah... well maybe i shud prepare myself for d results whatever it is... but still aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!! *bangs head* hehehe...

Blog...

2005-01-26T04:26:00.000+08:00

i feel so bored n pathetic ryt now.. i mean there are more ppl dat i kno who has blogs ryt now n im starting to start comparing theirs wif mine.. i mean look at Haz new breath taking layout n dat song 'Brunai' dat ppl like, Mel with her never ending new pictures bein up there, Fae with her dramatic posts n pictures, Alee wif his never ending tags from all sorts of girlfriends... otha ppl wif funky music n interesting n mind blowing posts... i mean looking at mine.. it looks soooooo dull, plain n boring.. its like makin me think dat i shudnt even have a blog if u dun post up posts n shyt... i mean i dun even update frequently.. whats d use anyway.. but hell who cares! its my blog i can do watever i want.. hahahaha.. i feel so pathetic ryt now.. i dunno wat im trying to say, but as pathetic as it sounds i just wanna post up a new post coz erm Alee just did... hahahahha... yes i am pathetic n sad! guess i will from now on update my blog with ish every now n then for my own sad n pathetic entertainment... *yawn*

current mood: Pathetic (du-uh) hahaha :P

Beauty of a woman..

2005-01-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years -- only grows.

But...

2005-01-09T01:49:00.000+08:00

Familiar Symptoms... But not quite....

Im sitting here all alone... Thinking of you.. But are u thinking of me??
Im constantly day dreaming about u.. but have u ever day dream of me??
Im always missing you... But have u ever missed me??
I wish im always by ur side... But have u even thought of such things abt me?
Im constantly thinking abt my future with you... But am i even included as a part of ur future??
I go crazy everytime i hear from u... But do i make u feel the same way??
I wish to see you everyday im my dreams... But do u?
Ur the last person i think of at night.. But am i the one u think of?
Its ovious that im falling for u.. But are u falling for me?

P/s: Random thoughts dats flowing from this thing we call "brain" ......

another KaBooM

2005-01-01T00:30:00.000+08:00

**KaBooM** hehe... its 2005 guys! daym it was like only yday when i was countdown-ing to the year 2004 to begin... Hmm the year 2004 had an impact on me.. The things that happned... the things i went through.. the things i learnt from my friends through their expeciene.. basically everything in 2004 has taught me alot of stuff that has if not more just abit about life n the ish-es.... hmm as a matter of fact i think the year 2004 is a year dat wud be hard for me to forget.. all the drama... all the conflict... all the troublesome ish.. all the fun as well as the excitement... all includes my personal and social life... basically i wud sum up 2004 as "ONE HECK OF A YEAR" hehe... Ermmm i hope dat 2005 wud not be as hectec as 2004 only as exciting as 2004... (did dat make any sence??)

Erm for me im sure 2005 wud be a year of change and transition... N i really mean change and transition... For u ppl who actually do read what i write in my blog... Thanks... N HaPpY nEw YeaR!! May ur new years resolution, whatever it is, be fulfilled...

**hugz** and **kisses**

**KABOOM** hehe... (dats like my fav word ryt now.. hehe.. ;P)
**KABOOM** *KABOOM** **KABOOM** ** KABOOM** hehe...

HapPiLy rEcoNNecTeD

2004-12-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

Hey peepz! my recent trip back to my homeland was a blast! but the most important exciting bit abt it is me being reconneced to my long lost fren... ok ok.. REWIND!!

I got dis childhood fren.. we were neighbours since i was like still peeing on my bed till i was like a "kid teen" n then suddenly him n his family went back to Malaysia... this was like 8 years ago... So since then we completely lost contact n well life continued as usual... but he was never forgotten... not in me nor my family... their family was often in our mind.. so then recently, during puasa... story cut short... we got in contact again from the help of my fren who was in Msia... She gave him my number n email address.. n the next day he mailed me... boy was i happy!! so since then we emailed n msged each other.. it was so excited i felt like i found dat lil piece of me dat was lost.. it was one great feeling...

Back to my trip to spore... During dat trip i went to Pahang to visit my relatives there.. So i bought a msia line n for the 4 days there i get to talk to my long lost friend... n like dat lil lost piece of me... we totally clicked.. perfect fit... we were like really good friends who never lost touch n sight of each other... but i tell u.. being reconnected dis way... its one heck of a great feeling... daym how i long to see him again after soooooo many years.. i am so missing him.... neways more post to come soon... y?? coz i will be jobless in the coming months.. hehe.. chow!

Ehem ehem..

2004-11-26T01:33:00.000+08:00

Hey i sorta lost track of time n date... Could someone remind me what day it is?? Hehehe...

Its past midnight.. Finally i turn 18... *in da background BOOGEEYY* hehe.. But actually at this hour 18 years ago i was still giving my mum pains (if u know what i mean.. hehe..)... If i was not mistaken my mum was already in d hospital waiting for my arrival after two false alarm... But yeah i was exactly born Wednesday 26th November 1986 at 4.30pm... dats when i was really born... Oh yeah one more thing.. I'v been waiting for this day.. Why?? Coz i can finally take my driving lisence!! hahaha...

First time...

2004-11-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

Two days ago something terrible happened... My beloved lil sister who is currently 5 fell down outside of our house... To be exact she was "jogging" as she claims it back home after she n my bro went to send some food to the neighbors... Then I dunno how coz I was inside I heard her crying... Next thing I know she was crying with blood coming out from her mouth... Basically we thought she bruised her mouth... So it's nothing THAT serious... After that my dad had this urge to check inside her mouth... N guess what?? Her lip was torn... Well not her lips... It's inside her lips... Between the gum n the upper lips... If u could feel the line thingy connecting your upper lip to your gum... Yeah that part... It was torn... There was a hole n all... When I saw that I got freaked out... Not just me... Everyone freaked out... **bet u are too :p**... After that we went straight to d hospital... After ages of waiting... Her turn came... Guess what the doctor said? "This has to be stitched"... Fear sank in... We told her that she will have to be stitched so that she knows... So yeah she had to come back the next morning to get stitched...

That night I couldn't sleep... I had nightmares of her... I was scared for her... The next morning the time flew so fast... Next thing I know we were in the hospital and she was seated to see the doctor... We (it was me n my dad) had to prepare our self... N her too... So we told her she was going to be injected n stitched... She was scared at first but we comforted her n she was ready... I saw her getting the injection... 4 injections to be exact... N for the first time I saw someone getting those kind of stitches.... N to be exact she got 4 stitches...

But surprisingly... She didn't cry at all when she got the injections... Not cry as in screaming in pain but just tear drops flowing silently... Seeing that I cried for her... All and all she's ok... Everything went well... N she's talking like mad now... hehehe... It was a scary experience for me... Seeing my lil sister like that... Seeing her lips being stitched n all.... N it's a one time experience I would not like to repeat...

Left picture: her bruised upper lip
Right picture: her stitched upper lip

2004-10-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

Watch without being seen...

Listen without being heard...

Those are words that I got out of a TV show...But then I suppose those words has its significance in our everyday life... I mean aren't we all like that in some ways or another? We see things that are happening without allowing people to know what we saw, basically without being noticed... We listen to things n people when they think we weren't listening... I mean sometimes we see things that others fail to realize... Like the tension between two people, the love between two people (who didn't even realize that they're in love), the anger and hate from one person to another and the list goes on... So the question now is.... the "gift" or realizing... is it an advantage or a disadvantage??

One way of looking at it... It could be an advantage... Realizing things that others do not realize such as the lies behind the words that are supposedly the truth... Who is the culprit and who has been framed as the culprit...? But looking at it in another way... Sometimes it could lead to a disadvantage... I mean what if what we realize some things that others fail miserably to see that in the end could lead to other people accusing you as the "bad guy"... And what if what you realize are things that you should not know as it might cause you harm...

Writing this I realize there is always a good n bad in everything... N I really mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g... Like if there's no bad there won't be no good and vise versa... So there is something that is yet to be found that has only good n not any bad attached to it...

Revenge...

2004-10-14T19:05:00.000+08:00

Inspired by watching this tv series, experiences and a phone call from a certain someone...

Revenge is the simplest pleasure of all, the most understandable... Someone hurts you, you hurt them back...

Revenge... One look at that word... We all know that its something negative... Its one word dats filled with an emotion called hatred... But on another look.. Revenge means that something bad has happened to that individual, something really bad actually that makes that individual want to do something as bad to the one that has hurt him/her...

How many people have ever thought of seeking revenge? I bet many people do... But then how many people actually have the guts or the heart to actually not only contemplate or make the perfect plan for revenge but actually doing it?? Let me see... Not many... You know how after being hurt or backstabbed we rage with anger, we hate, hate and hate... And we come up with violent or evil ideas and plans on how to hurt them back... Or at least make them taste how it feels to be hurt... But then after a while... After we "cool down" even though the plan to revenge still lingers we never actually come to do it... I wonder why???

Isn't it a waste of time n brain power making up the perfect plan for revenge but then u don't actually do it?? The answer I suppose is because we still care about that person despite what he/she had done to us... Either care coz that person is our sibling, our family, one who we call our friend or the one we love... We don't have the heart to hurt them coz we still care or love... *sigh*

Isn't it sad knowing that that person had the heart to hurt you (really bad) but then you don't have the heart to hurt them back... Depressing and at the same time very funny huh?? This world is twisted and God really do have a sense of humor... I mean that person hurt you really bad (either emotionally or physically) but u can't afford to hurt them back... That's life I suppose... There would always one side that is more caring, loving and understanding than the other... Or basically one has a purer heart than the other...

Interesting conversation.....

2004-10-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, the Almighty. He asks one of his new Muslim students to stand and.....
Professor : You are a Muslim, aren't you, son?

Student : Yes, sir.

Prof. : So you believe in God?

Student : Absolutely, sir. Prof. : Is God good?

Student : Sure.

Prof. : Is God all-powerful?

Student : Yes.

Prof. : My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof. : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student : Yes.

Prof. : Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Prof. : Where does Satan come from?

Student : From...God...

Prof. : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Prof. : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Prof. : So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof. : Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Prof. : So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof. : Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student : No, sir.

Prof. : Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student : No, sir.

Prof. : Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof. : Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Prof. : According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof. : Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof. : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof. : Yes.

Student : No sir. There isn't

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof. : Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is theabsence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.... But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness, darker, wouldn't you?

Prof. : So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof. : Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death, as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved (Student is from a monkey)?

Prof. : If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student : Is there anyone here, who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof. : I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir. The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.